A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My bf is significantly older than me. We have been dating for a year or so. He does not want to make love at all. He has an excuse for every time of day. No he does not have ED. When we first got together there was constant affection. Now he will start to touch me but out of fear i will be turned on, he stops. I am so frustrated. I know he loves me. But i need more than a dinner conversation companion. Is this a sign its over? Believe me though i try hard. Dress up and all. But you lose the will to fight after a while any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2015): How much older than you is he?
I have had relationships with older mean and usually it is the opposite happy to rip my clothes off but not so keen on taken me out/dating side of things unless it is to show off to his mates...took me a long time to admit that.
But never the opposite, the only thing I can think of is maby he is having trouble getting an erection, many he sees you as friend now. Doesn't want a sexual relationship.
Older man not wanting to rip a younger women's clothes off is VERY rare as I said.
Be and adult and discuss it with him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2015): You didn't mention his age. How do you know he doesn't have ED? You seem to be in the friend-zone, if he never wants to be intimate with you. Why do you call him your boyfriend, if after a year you've never had sex?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 January 2015):
 If sensuality/sexuality is part of YOUR intimacy menu... and it's NOT on HIS intimacy menu, then you need to part ways and find (yourself) a compatible partner.
I've "BT/DT" and found that a long time in an intimacy desert isn't worth waiting for your "partner" to accomodate this part of you....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 January 2015):
 How much older is he?
And have you asked him point blank why?
You say he has an excuse every time, but it's not a medical issue (ED) so what IS the reason he gives you?
You say YOU try hard, obviously HE doesn't. So yes, it does seem like you are no more then a "poodle" for dinner conversations. You a young pretty thing to have on his arm when going out.
If you are in your early to mid-20's, I'm sorry to be blunt, but YOU are wasting some of your BEST years on a guy, who for whatever reason isn't interested in you sexually. I'm not saying because you are on your 20's you should be out partying, but you should be enjoying a partner who in turn enjoys you.
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A
female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (26 January 2015):
Any particular reason that he won't touch you??? Has he said why he has a problem with it? I understand your frustration, but maybe he needs to know you before he does anything.
Try talking to him. If you are still not satisfied, you probably need to reconsider.
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