A
female
age
,
*nnaslace
writes:I've been with a man for 2 years. I used to live with him,I was drinking which he did not like.,He kept giving me chances to stop and I didn't. One day I went to his house and another woman was there. I got so upset, I went out and drank and had a car accident. He came to pickup me. Although before the accident, he told me she was just a friend, however, they've had sex. I've been in AA and getting me self back on track. Do you think I have a chance of getting him back and if so, how do I go about getting him. He is not speaking to me right now. I will not call him because I feel so ashamed about how I acted when I was drunk. I know it may take time, but should I even try or just move on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): Hi, firstly you need to get yourself better by 100%. Stop even thinking about your ex bf. He is your ex and he is better left in the background until you are completely strong, well and back on your feet. Don't worry what he thinks or does, your future health if the most important thing right now. Stay away from him. Let him get on with his life. One day in the future, when you are fully recovered you will meet someone you so deserve.
Take care
xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): Anna, I think you would be wise to keep making the best choice for yourself. Keep helping yourself by recovering completely from your drinking problem, before trying to get in touch with your ex bf. You are on the right track with AA and I commend you,dear.
One thing you have to understand, Anna..your ex bf likely went through a lot of pain, watching you abuse alcohol. I am not sure if he did this but he may have unwittingly, likely diminished the negative consequences of your drinking by tolerating it for awhile. But it was a huge problem and maybe he thought he was just enabling you and it was causing him emotional anxiety. If you weren't going to save yourself, dear-he had to save himself. So he said "enough"...he set a big boundary of what he would tolerate, causing him to walk away. It's very hard for a person to sit watch another person we love...self-destruct. Quite often in relationships, a lot of anger and disputes arise; and the relationship itself is eventually badly damaged. There is the liklehood he wants to forget.
The best you can do now, dear is to look after yourself, get better and perhaps eventually some time in the future...e-mail him a nice note asking if you can be friends. But you need to understand..he had a new ladyfriend, now and he/she may not be wanting a friendship. Ifhe does, then accept that. You may have to make the heartwrenching choice to go it alone and move on. Good luck on your recovery and I wish you happiness in the future...stay strong and look to better days ahead. Take care.
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