A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Help!!!! i think i am in love with this older guy(25+),!!!! I've been out with older guys before but this time i am totally stuck. Basically we both work in the same shopping center and i am purposely making up excuses to end up in his shop, we talk all the time whenever we are in there together but when someone else is around he makes out like i don't even exist! i don't know if this is a sign that he likes me even though i am much younger than him (16). i don't know what to do, keep going on in the same way? or make a move?, but i don't want to embarrass myself, he always makes jokes with me and some comments that could be seen as sexual but i'm still not sure. NO, THIS IS NOT JUST A TEENAGE CRUSH, SOOO HELP!!!
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female
reader, SaphiraGold16 +, writes (25 March 2011):
 I have no idea what to advise because by personal experience, I think older men treat you better my partner is 37 and I'm 17, yes WOW huge age gap, but does it affect us not really? as I'm mature for my age and he acts like a big kid lol.
We are good together I have flaws so does he put we put up with eachother because we love eachother and want to make our relationship work.
First like the other users said you need to find out more about him, what kind of person is he, does he like, is he in it for the long run or a quickie.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): Hello, im 16 too
i dont know if i can help you in anyway but i've been through this, i started talking to this bloke after we met on a night out, hes 39 and stupidly i said i was 19 when we met, mainly because i didnt want to get kicked out of the night club we were in. anyway, we met up for a few days, had sex etc etc and then as soon as we werent together he texted me as if he was no longer interested, i asked him about it and he replied 'you need to understand we can never be more than friends' (a little background info, he has 13 and 19 year old daughters thats the reason he said it) anyways, it was him that said age didnt matter, but he still changed his mind once he got what he wanted.
just wanna say it can NEVER be more than sex/ F**k buddies. you always are gonna be the bit on the side, because even if he doesnt have children, he definitely will prioritise other things and people over you. hes so much older, just like my bloke was and he knows its wrong to be with you so wont ever admit it, if you were older it wouldnt be a problem, but just ask yourself why cant he get a girl his own age? and also, why is he treating you like this? ask him where you stand, and dont sleep with him, youll become emotionally connected with him then he'll drop you as soon as you can say ''that was good''
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (2 March 2011):
 He ignores you when other people are around because he thinks it would look bad for him to be lusting after a much younger girl. He feels uncomfortable about expressing feelings in front of others. There is nothing wrong with age-gap relationships as such, but it is a bad sign that he treats you differently when other people are around. It suggests that he is not looking for a proper relationship with you. He maybe hoping for a bit of a fling on the quiet without his mates and colleagues knowing about it. Don't wind up being used by this older man - find someone who doesn't ignore you around other people.
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A
female
reader, StarryEyes101 +, writes (2 March 2011):
 He blanks you when people are around because he knows people will frown about him flirting with a younger girl. I don't think you should bother him anymore. Try and avoid him. Find someone your own age that won't feel ashamed about being with you. I'm sorry to be blunt, but I'm just being honest.I hope this helps
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