A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:I am so lost in my current relationship, I don't want to end it, I want to fix it, or tell my boyfriend to wake up and see if we can grab our relationship before it has nothing left. I am seriously becoming bored with my relationship. When I am with my bf we have a good time together when it comes to talking and being silly with one another, but we don't really do much else. I would really like to do more things, but for him it's always a money issue. I am tired of this circle of wanting to do more and always getting the same answer or having the same argument I have suggested non expensive options. I even gave him a list of things to do for almost no money, if any. I actually have been thinking about my ex- boyfriend a lot and I don't really want too. I just want my current relationship to be what I care about. I am sure I sound like a big mess, I just need help with my own brain and all this stuff. My ex-boyfriend was someone I fell very hard for and it's been 2 years since I have seen or even talked to him. It really bothers me that he is crossing my mind and even if someone says just don't think about it it's not as easy as it sounds especially since those thoughts are coming to the surface now. The ex-boyfriend truly felt like a soul-mate and we could not be together because he chose to be a coward and let his family run his life instead of standing up for our relationship and that's the only reason we are not together. The family kept him and me apart and he let them. I have no answers for the things going on, I will take all advice. Thank you kindly.
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female
reader, oliviaclairex  +, writes (6 September 2012):
 Hello :)I have been in this exact situation before, quite recently!I think you are thinking about your ex because your lacking in this relationship, because your boyfriend doesn't take you out and appreciate you, and make you feel special, so you start looking at ex's and comparing, and it can make you think 'am i with the right person?' and 'why am i thinking of my ex?'Tell your boyfriend again that you don't really feel appreciated, that you both never do things together, and it doesn't matter about money! Getting a take away and a bottle of wine in is nice, or him taking you our for a picnic, or going on walks, it's more the fact that he's waking up and going 'hey, i'm going to take you to do this today!' and him making the effort!Tell him this, and if he still doesn't do anything, and you feel things aren't improving, make a statement that you aren't going to be with him if it carrys on as you have told him how you feel, and you feel he isn't listening, you could either break up with him or go on a break,and almost probably he will do something about this and start making changes! If he doesn't, is he worth it?If he loves you, and see's you want more out of the relationship it's his job to do so!I had this problem with my current boyfriend not so long ago, I did this and he started being all 'well you don't do things for me either'I realised this was true, and a month or so later I cooked him a meal and I did some stuff for him, now every so often he takes me out and seems to do more for me and we both a lot happier!!!!- As for your ex! If things don't improve with your boyfriend, maybe you could talk to your ex and see if there is anything still there.Hope this helps, and good luck!Just remember! you deserve to be treated and feel special! x
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