A
female
age
30-35,
*runettebarbie
writes:I am nearly 19 and pregnant. I am about 5 or 6 weeks. I have a appointment booked for the clinic in 5 days to have a abortion but im not sure if i can go through with it..I have been crying and worrying about it for ages now about what I should do.My family say it is not the right time for me and that i would probably get jealous and depressed (already suffer from it) seeing other people going out , doing stuff ect. I am trying to get into modelling and just think If i have a baby i couldn't do modelling or continue with my studies at college. My mum is right and i know i probably would feel that way, but i know if i had the baby i wouldn't think it was a mistake. My mum says its my choice but she just wants the best for me and she will support me either way if I have the baby, so will my boyfriend, And friends have been saying it will be very hard for me to have a baby. everyone is just so negaitive but maybe its because they want the best and i dont want to admit that.My boyfriend tells me the same thing everyone else does and that if i want to go ahead with the pregnancy we can have no money and live a sh*t life on a council estate and all our ambitions will just be DREAMS..but he says its my choice still as its my body. I feel stuck and dont want to ruin his life, but he says its my choice.Hes right, I think that myself and im scared i wont be able to do the things i want.. but I still dont know what to do. I wouldnt go for adoption and I want to live my life first as i havent done anything yet.I am also a bit underweight right now not because I have a eating problem. Everyone thinks I am not fit enough physically and mentally as I havent even holded a job down properly.I had an abortion two years ago from a bad experience which at the time was the right decision but i still think of it now and again and wonder what if?, this is probably why I am hesitant to whether I want to have a abortion.Does anybody have any experiences or any ideas to this matter? Thanks for reading
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abortion, ambition, depressed, jealous, money Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): It's YOUR choice. Please don't do something like this based off of what others say! I had a baby at 18 and ALL my dreams have come true. They were a little more tough to achieve, but I made it and I wouldn't have it any other way! Please talk to someone who does not have any bias on this situation such as a counselor. Do what is right for you and no one else!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): Well I can tell you my expirience. I had an abortion almost a year ago, but I was pressured into it by my boyfriend, at the time. I would have much rather given the baby up for adoption although I knew it would be an extremely hard thing to do. I took the abortion pill, I was nineteen at the time and living on my own. My boyfriend stayed with me, but I would cry because I was in a great deal of pain, the cramping was so bad, and on top of that I was vomiting, as a side effect of the abortion pill. Everytime I would groan in pain or start to cry he would tell me to shut up that he needed to sleep because he had work the next day. (only tells you what kind of person he was, very selfish) Now this is kind of graphic, so if you don't want to read it you can stop, but what got me about the abortion was the baby. It came out in my underwear, I was 8 weeks and six days preg. It looked translucent, but had a head, peanut shaped body, nubs for the legs and arms to start to form, and webbed fingers and toes. It had black little eyes as well ( I think they were eye sockets forming) Anyways it hurt me so bad to see that. I felt like I had died. More so because I had seen it. I promised myself I would never have another abortion, it made me so depressed. It took months to get my life to where it was before I had the abortion. I know you said you wouldn't but I think you should at least consider adoption if you truely cannot go through with the abortion. In your current situation I would not advise you to keep the baby. You are young, and I think you need to live your life a bit more before you decide to settle down, because you really sound like thats what you want to do too. There are things like open adoptions, you would still be able to have contact with your child, and know that he/she was well cared for. Just consider it. I'm not saying its easy because it really isnt, but just be open to the idea if you can't go through with the abortion. And I do agree with the last post, maybe you should get some counseling or go to therapy, it can help you through this hard time. It may help you decide what you really want to do in this situation as well.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 January 2010):
You've already had one, and that has made you feel bad. If you do it twice, you may feel even worse. If you are having doubts, the best thing you can do now is to speak to a counsellor. I say that because they will offer an unbiased opinion. Your family and your boyfriend all seem to be trying to convince you it's not the right time. But at the end of it, you need to make this decision alone, and the best way to do that is to have an honest talk with someone who will listen to you and offer you pros and cons, rather than just cons. Talk to someone and really follow your heart. It's easy for a guy to say 'have an abortion'. We don't have the baby inside us. I doubt it's so easy for the woman carrying the baby, which is why you need good advice from someone who wont' sit there judging you.
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