A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, this is my dilemma. I am 17 years and my boyfriend is 18. We became friends online and then moved our friendship off-line and met in person. We became close friends instantly. As our friendship blossomed even more he would hint to me stuff about his feelings. We started going out pretty much every other day. We became a couple after 3 months of friendship. Now within the relationship things are too good to be true. We have both been hurt before and having your heart broken teaches you to be careful who to give it to. Recently we have become intimate with each other. We are both virgins and have tried to have sex before (things didn't workout) now he has made plans to romance me on valentines day(have sex. he tells me that he loves me all the time, even at the end of every call. He even told me I'm "the one". He talks a lot of making me his wife. He even posted up on hi5 and facebook how much he loves me. He calls me all the time and emails me none stop. I mean I love him so much, I really love him, but is this for real? I am scared to give him my virginity, I mean I would if I knew for sure that he would marry me but I don't know, I am having second thoughts. Are we moving too fast? Help me out here!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009): Hi,you should wait for marriage then you know for sure is this man worth taking your virginity. Also if you choose not to have sex before marriage you can live without a fear of getting pregnant or getting STD, also you can feel well about yourself. If you do not have sex with him you can feel proud of yourself and it means you respect your body. Lots of men and boys go for sex, but sex is too dangerous thing to bring it into (teen, young adults' relationship).Many who have had sex before keep on sleeping around with different people, have sexual relationships, or are very depressed because they had sex with the wrong person and did not wait for the right person. So watch out. Read this, it provides more information why to avoid pre-marital sex: http://www.lifeway.com/tlw/
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009): I suggest waiting till marriage, if he really loves you, he'd understand that your afraid of the outcomes and consequences.Sure, the idea of rejecting something like that is hurtful, but being pregnant alone as a future mother is not only hurtful, but scary. Most guys claim they'll love you the next morning, but because it's so commonly said among the honest and sleazy, so you never know.You can't go wrong by waiting, but you can by having sex unmarried. But hey, it's up to you; and no one else. With whatever choice you choose, I hope things work out smoothly for you both.~
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (16 January 2009):
 The only way to know for sure is to wait until you're married.
The decision to have sexual relations is a very personal one, but when you're young, most people don't know who it is that they want to marry... you're lucky if you know what you want for lunch... you don't even know who you are!
Give yourself time to find yourself, date, and take it one day at a time. Whatever you decide to do, don't be in a rush to lose your virginity.
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A
female
reader, megan1111  +, writes (16 January 2009):
Sometimes, we get so caught up is what we think is love only to discover it was not what we thought. Sex, tends to divert the focus from what’s really important in a new relationship – “what each person truly feels about the other.” Your virginity is special and a gift you can only give once.
If I could do it again, I would wait until I was married. Once you have sex, it begins to dominate the relationship. If you wait until you’re married or least until you know this guy for a substantial period, then you’ll be better prepared to make a decision if he is truly worthy of your gift. Then you can relax and concentrate on what you’re feeling sexually and how you want to feel. Do you not know that you are going to be sore afterwards and he will be ready to go again in less than an hour – something to ponder. If you’re horny, masturbate. If he’s horny, tell him to masturbate because soon after you start to have sex, he (because he is experienced) is going to want to put some variety in it (positions, different acts, ect.) and you have to be comfortable.
If you only see this guy on the weekends or on dates, eventually you’re going to feel "used", as sex is usually going to be the culmination of a good evening. Your first is always special and someone you are attached to, so be careful. If the relationship does not work out, your fall will be greater and your recovery will be longer than if you had not rushed into sex so quickly. Talk to more women, I think the “honeymoon period” starts when you first have decide to have sex with guy because you start a boulder rolling down a hill that’s hard to stop.
At least wait long enough to make sure you know where the relationship is going. Remember, sex changes everything – you want to make sure it changes it for the better.
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A
female
reader, Adee1 +, writes (15 January 2009):
 Hi, this happend to me once.
Older guy mets young GIRL online
they fall in "love"
they have sex. And he leaves.
Its hard to tell girlie.
Only you know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2009): Hi! This happens a lot. I personally believe in being a virgin until marriage. You've probably heard this a lot, but it's the best thing to do. I'm sure your love is real, but you don't want to give it to him just yet. If you do, he could just break up with you afterwards, then you'll go through twice the heartbreak! If you guys do get married then you'll know it's the right time and with someone that loves you unconditionally :).Whatever you choose, I hope things work out with you regardless!!!
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