A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Okay, you all may think I am silly.....but, this is seriously causing me major distress. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months. We have been sexually active. However, I haven't walked around naked a lot. I have bad cellulite and saddle bags right under my butt. I go to the gym and have been working on them, but they are genetic so will not completely go away. We are going to the beach this weekend. I look horrible in a bathing suit bottom. SERIOUSLY! I have heard him make comments about cottage cheese butt.....not referring to me. But, now I am scared to death that he is going to be grossed out by me. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): He likes you already, so don't worry about him.
As for your self-consciousness, wear a dark-coloured 1-piece to make you look smaller. It's hard to focus on a dark subject.
Highlight your boobs by choosing a suit with a dark body and bright bodice. That makes it easy to focus on!
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 April 2008):
 I'm sure he has a pretty good idea about what your body looks like by now, so I think you are worrying too much. You're going to ruin your weekend together if you're focused too much on this, so ixnay on the egativenay oughtsthay!
You are fantastic. You are his girlfriend. You are healthy and sexy. Carry yourself that way and he won't be able to see much else. Really, confidence is the most sexy thing you can have.
On to practical things, I like Tine's idea of the mini-makeover and the self tan, just be sure to really exfoliate well and use a good brand, so you don't look orangey or splotchy. The miniskirt idea is good too, or you could have a sheer mini-sarong wrap which hide your worrying bits too.
Guys, avert your eyes for a second, because I want to give her a tip that only we women should know.
Okay, now that they're not looking, make sure you smell great! I know that men are stimulated by sight, but they don't really realize that their olfactory glands are also a huge part of their sexuality. I had a great tip from a girlfriend years ago, when I was in a long distance relationship. She told me that smell will trigger all kinds of feelings, including sexual ones, so she suggested that I leave my perfume on his robe. So I would use his bathrobe when I left the shower and spray my perfume on myself, and oops, a little on his bathrobe. When I left, I knew that he would catch a little scent of me whenever he went past or used his robe. Later, I learned that this had indeed been effective. :) So don't overdo the perfume, but make sure you are not ignoring this vital part of his attraction to you.
Okay, the men can look again...
You can't control what genetics have dictated for you, but you can control how you dress, wear your hair, and how you carry yourself. Be strong, be sexy, don't let yourself worry about this really minor thing.
One more link for you to read here, I really like this one:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/genetically-modified-woman-or-organic-female-which-do.html
Go have fun, and let us know how the weekend went later!
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A
female
reader, Tine  +, writes (22 April 2008):
 honey i think that you are being way over paanoid here.. the guy has actually seen you naked a few times, since your sexually active, and i think that if he's been back a second time then he must be fine with the way your body looks..
if you are still feeling the same after reading this then suggest you give yourself a mini makeover below, of course your not going to get legs like Cameron Diaz in a week but having known inside that you've done this, it may give you that extra confidence boost you need. so here goes...
Before you go into the shower buy a body brush and brush your bum (strokes going towards the heart) and this will prepare your skin for whats next. Next while your in the shower use a exfoliating shower gel, like the ones with the beads in it and then once outta the shower use baby oil on it.. then maybe try a self tan.. so that you'll have that glow already which if he decides to look at it, it will appear smooth and he'll just wanna touch it instead of it making him wanna be sick lol
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): If he's hooked on you, and I guess he is if you've been together for 6 months, he won't notice your little imperfections - and he's probably hoping you won't notice his either! In any case, the chances are he'll be far more interested in your bathing suit top!
Nobody is perfect, not even those models you see on the cover of womens' magazines. They've all been airbrushed and computer-enhanced and there's no way a real woman can measure up to such perfection. The thing is, it's manufactured perfection and bears no resemblance to the real thing or indeed the model herself.
Personally, I think a butt with saddlebags can be rather sexy - but I prefer to call them 'Love Handles' and I think to myself 'Cor - I'd have difficulty falling off that!'
Relax and enjoy your time on the beach, and if he makes any adverse comments - I doubt he will - just tell him he's not so perfect himself and ogle a few other lunchboxes for good measure.
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A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (22 April 2008):
 Hey
Don't worry so much! If he has been w you for all this time and have seen you naked (guessing you dont have sex fully dressed) than he saw it and he obviously doesnt care!!!! He loves you the way you are. You dont need to look like a model to be loved!!!!!
And if you are stressed out about it .. wear some lil skirt over your swimsuitebottom .. and it will be perfect. U can even buy the ones that you can swim with .. or just a beach cover up .. thats up to you ..
Good luck
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A
female
reader, joana20  +, writes (22 April 2008):
I understand what you are going through. But hun, if he does like you, he won't be grossed at all believe me! Every one of us is different, and none of is perfect! I used to be like you! I only wore bikinis with shorts because of my butt...But then I realized: who cares! I am what I am, I can't do anything about that...So, if you don't like me how I am just bugger of...
Don't be ashamed of your body! That's just a detail...I bet you are really beautiful! Focus on the rest of your body! And if you really can't cope with that wear a short skirt or shorts.
Just be confident ok?
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