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female
,
anonymous
writes: hi im 16 years old and in desperate need of help. Ive finaly found a great boyfriend. Hes funny, lovely and really loves me back weve only been going out for a few weeks but im really starting to fall for him. But we had a littel misunderstanding in the weekend and he htough i was ignoring him (which isnt ture....i had to take care of a friend who had just found out her mum had breast cancer but didnt want me to tell anyone) so even though he hadnt contacted me to tell me he was upset i rung him and explained everything. He was fine about it and we were chatting again as normal.Thn his parents arrived back completely drunk and when his mum found out i was on the other end of the phone she starting yelling abuse at me, threatening me...even though sam made outit was a joke i was really upset as im really not a confrontation person. Even when he explained that i was busy taking care of me firend she just yelled "thats sh***T!!" down the phone he quickly hung up. I was so upset and cired all of last night....and this morning he still hasnt contacted meI feel let down by this as ive taken care of both of her daughters even before I met their brother (my boyfriend) as we go to the same youth club. I really didnt think i deserved this and im not sure what to do...i cant let her treat me like this...its not fair!help ..please
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2006): I agree with Tiagre. There has been a huge misunderstanding that has occurred somewhere along the way or in your pastdealings with this family. It could be an event that occurred or something that has been said to your bf's Mother, in order for her to talk this way to you. Please sit with your bf and discuss this further. He likely knows something that you don't, hun. The best way for people to come to an understanding is to communicate calmly, honestly and maturely and then make a plan with him on how this misunderstanding with his Mother, can be resolved. Good luck, dear.
A
female
reader, smileyhugs +, writes (24 September 2006):
I think it is important to remember you haven't done anything wrong. What this lady yelled at you is completely out of order. I think you deserve a full apology.
You need to make it clear to your boyfriend about how upset and distressed you ar regarding this treatment. It may be necessary for him to talk to his mother about the incident and uncover the truth.
There may be mitigating factors that you dont know about going on with the mother, and you must remember that this woman was drunk. However, none of this excuses such disgraceful behaviour. A joke in such circumstances (looking after a friend whose mum has cancer) is extremely bad taste, and should not be tolerated.
Talk to your boyfriend, if he loves you, he will understand where you are coming from. But remember, it him, not his mother that you are dating.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Tiagre +, writes (24 September 2006):
If you're sure she was completely drunk, then perhaps it's less her fault, as she wasn't totally in control at the time. But still, it was unfair of her to treat you like that. Is your boyfriend ashamed of his parents at all? Have you given her any reason (other than looking after your friend) to be nasty to you? I think you should tell your boyfriend how you felt about that, and see if he can talk to his mum and get her to explain and apologise.
However, she might just pretend it never happened, and then you could either go along with it and pretend it didn't, or ask her why she was so insulting to you, and explain that you are hurt.
Take care xxx
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