A
female
 ,
*parklygem
writes:HiI am really so unlucky with the love bit. I met a new man and we have been texting each other and occasionally he has come to see me at my home. 2 weeks ago we spent a lovely weekend together (we never had sex) but it felt like we were so much closer. However, on the Sunday night he went out with his friends. He had text me at 11.15 to come round, but i was asleep and never heard my text. He rang me from hospital at 2.30 in the morning to tell me he had been beaten up really bad and would be admitted to hospital. I was the only person he told until the Tuesday when he eventually told his family as they thought he needed to transfer hospitals. I didn't know what to do as I wasn't offically his girlfriend, but did run round getting him all the things he needed for the first couple of days and went to visit him every other day and rang him in between, he also rang me too. He was in hospital a week and a half. However, he came out of hospital (Wednesday)and never told me and then was very cool with me saying after being beaten up he was just not feeling himself(which is understandable). On the Friday he text to say that he couldn't give me what he thought i wanted at this time and then that was it. He came round on the Sunday night to get the clothes I had washed for him, but he turned up with a girl in the car and it just made me angry and upset. I just feel so used and let down. As soon as i let my barrier down someone hurts me. I was so unsure what to do at the time and now feel i was wrong and shouldn't have helped so much. All my friends said that it was me he contacted from hospital, but it has just really confused me what did i do so wrong.
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female
reader, kellyO +, writes (18 July 2006):
 Hi sparklygem,
You didnt do anything wrong. He needed you and you were there for him which was very thoughtful on your part. He was the one that asked for you to be there for him and you did. Please dont beat yourself about it.The problem is with him really. Perhaps he feels he isnt ready for a commitment relationship and yours and his is tending towards that.You should try to forget about him, dont call him or bother yourself about him.He knows where you are if he wants you.
I know that you feel you have been unlucky in love but not everyone find love instantly. Some people have to date alot until that special person comes by. It was for me too until recently. Dont just give up and dont think you are entirely alone on this aspect.
I can see you have nice thoughtful friends that are there for you. Dont dwell on things go out,relax and meet people.
Goodluck. love kelly.
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