A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay. So here's the deal. My boyfriend and I love each other very much and we have so much desire to make love. I am a virgin but he isnt. The farthest we have gone is making out, and phone sex. I am feeling a bit scared and doubtful of doing things that I know I want to do. For example, I am germaphobic and I am a bit insecure about oral sex. I want to do it, but I am a but squeemish about licking and sucking on his genitals and drinking his cum. Another example, I am a bit afraid of vaginal sex because I know it will hurt the first time for me. I am a virgin like I said, and my hymen is still intact. I have touched my genitals a little bit, but I am afraid to really finger myself, again due to my germaphobic nature and fear of it being painful. What should I do? Am I holding back and having these doubts because subconsciously I'm a bit nervous about the change? Maybe I think I wont be as good as his first partner? Should I trust my desire and try moving forward? I don't know if I will feel bad or not afterwards. I don't think we are moving too fast. Mentally, we have had each kind of sex a thousand times already. But physically that is not the case. To sum it up, I am ready but I find myself making excuses and I come to the conclusion that I'm just nervous. Help!
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 July 2011):
 I don't really think you are ready. You are spending a lot of time trying to talk yourself into it, but you have more reasons not to do it. So I'd say, take the pressure off, don't force yourself to do anything just yet.
You might want to examine your 'germaphobe' tendencies a little to see if they are causing you other problems. How do you cope with all the germs that are present on your hands and in your mouth and your nose? You do realize that we are teeming with *friendly* bacteria and it's all part of life?
A
female
reader, Tye  +, writes (16 July 2011):
dont worry its perfectly normal to feel nevous.. i lost my virginity about a month ago... if you think about it to much you will just scare yourself i know... If he knows your a virgin then he knows your not gonna be good in bed.. my boyfriend wasnt a virgin either. i know that its scary but somthimes you have to just step into the darkness. After first time sex you just feel alittle wierd.. not really in a painfull way.. but things down there do feel alittle stange. Talk to him and tell how you feel.. he will understand. this is somthing you have to do together. Firstly you should go talk to a Dr about everything
hope this helps you :)
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