A
male
age
30-35,
*acko4444
writes:I am 19 years old and have a full time job at a supermarket. I have two very different personalities (work and home). I am a serious person at work and very laid back in my spare time. I am single and always have been. Quite a lot of people say I'm very good looking. The thing that slightly bothers me is people ask me if I have a girlfriend. I actually feel like a second class citizen because I have never had a girlfriend. Most people my age are in relationships and apparently "normal" 19 year old's are in a relationship.My mum gets asked the question "has your son got a girlfriend" quite a lot as well. She says I will have a girlfriend sometime and she's out there somewhere and she will come. I find this hard to believe until it actually happens.Also I can't be that attractive if I'm still single after 19 years. Also at school the girls didn't fancy me and I don't think they do at work. Apparently people have fancied me in the past but I think people may have been saying it just to flatter me. Another problem is every girl I fancy seems to be taken. Some girls are nice to me but its just as friends and I don't think they'd go any further than friends. My main interests are football and railways. I do a lot of walking and cycling in my spare time. If I did date a girl, I honestly wouldn't know what to talk about.Although people have said to me I'm a nice person and good looking 19 year old male who will easily get a girlfriend I have not managed to get one in 19 years. I'm obviously doing something wrong. What am I doing wrong?I am ready for a relationship and I'm a caring person who puts other before himself.I given you a lot to go on.
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at work, get a girlfriend, never had a girlfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): i agree with suez, except for the cinema part, if a guy asked me to go cinema on a first date...id run for the hills, its too boring and you cannot talk and get to know eachother, plus girls and guys have different tastes in movies, she may want a chick flick and you may want action, either way one of you ends up bored!
Instead try a walk in the local park , coffee, a meal etc, anything where your both forced into a situation where you have to talk should work
just keep your eyes peeled , a girl likes you if you catch her staring, or if she finds any oppertunity to talk to you .
In which yeh u should do the asking out
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): Hey, you sound like a lovely guy. You also sound to me like you may be missing the cues when someone actually likes you... like when they want to move from being friends to being more than friends.
Have you tried asking a girl you like who is your friend out on a date? DO you have any ideas what you would like to do on a date? Going to the movies is good because you can get to spend time together and then after you can go for a coffee and talk about the movie... so you have something in common.
Some times it takes practice... you may have to ask a few girls out, and maybe go out with a few before you find one that is right for you.
Another thing a lot of people are doing is internet dating. That way you can get to know someone a little via email... get to know what they like and make sure you have some stuff in common before you organise to go out on a date.
One thing I will say is that even now, girls still expect the guy to make the first move... so a girl could really like you but will not ask you out... she will just pine away hoping you will ask her out.
So if you like her, take a chance... what's the worst thing that can happen? She says no? no worse than if you didn't ask. Oh... and make sure you have a plan (what you will do together).
HOpe you have fun.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): Your only 19....thats still fairly young.
Its not like your 30 or 40 and havnt still had a relationship.
I agree with your wise mother, there is somebody out there for you, its just a case of being patient and waiting for her to come along.
I think you'l find though, that alot of young girls are probably quite shy , and wait for the guy to ask them out. So if you do see someone you like , that is also single, just ask them out. the worst they can say is no, and thats not exactly going to kill you is it. brush it off and try again.
As for finding things to talk about with girls, the main thing that will give you credit is taking a really good interest in the girl. Actually wanting to get to know her, ask questions about her, women love to talk about themselves!
What food do you like, dont like? Wheres your favourite place in the whole wide world to be or go? What hobbies have you got? etc. its just a good way to break the ice and she'l think your genuinly interested. But remember to remain cool about it and not push anything.
Until that time comes, patience is key. In the mean time why dont you experiment with online dating, itl give you chance to see what kind of girls are attracted to you and also to practice getting to know someone.
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