A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend proposed recently and gave me a beautiful ring. We have been together for over 6 years and we are very happy. I called my best gf's first and the one that I thought was my very best friend, said she was at a bar and too drunk to talk. She called me the next day and after about 30 secs, asked me to call her back. She didn't answer and hasn't called me back. I sent her a message on fb and she didn't respond even though I see she has been active on fb. I found out yesterday that she called one of our other friends...the one who is the worst gossip, so I know she knew I would find out...and she cried and told her that this couldn't be happening and that she just wants to stop us from getting married. The truth is she has been around for a long time...good times and bad, but hasn't been around us as a couple for two years or so. She says she feels he has put me through too much and that I am too good for him... but hasn't said it to me. I am profoundly hurt over this. I don't know what to do. Obviously, I will not be asking her to be my maid of honor as I had planned.Any thoughts on this? Thank you in advance.
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female
reader, meg2989 +, writes (19 January 2010):
 Try to approach her about this, maybe she is just trying to tell you how she feels but can't find the right words and doesn't want to hurt you. Talk to her honestly and openly, try to be cordial about it so there is no argument. I think that would be the BEST thing you can do right now. Congratulations on your soon to be marriage, I really hope this helps to patch things up with you're friend. If she is your best friend, then there is probably a good reason why she feels this way. Best wishes to you and good luck.
A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (19 January 2010):
 You haven't done anything wrong...let her come to you. If she cares for you that much, she shouldn't be treating you like this.
You think that she's doing this for you...like she wants the best for you. I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but is it possible that she has a thing for him and so she's taken news of your engagement this badly? I don't even want to mention this, but is it possible that something happened between them a while ago? We don't have much info to go on here so it's hard to give you opinions.
But, even if she wasn't too happy about you marrying him, as a friend she should be there to support you, and not act like an upset child.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (19 January 2010):
 Dear anon,
As your best friend,she might realize that something bad is and/or was going on with you and your fiance.
A couple of things need to be answered HONESTLY
1. has he EVER hit you or abused you?
2. does he treat you as an equal and respect you as you wish do be respected?
-vincenzo
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (19 January 2010):
Well there may be some truth to what she's saying. She is your very best friend, and usually if they figure someone makes you happy then they won't try to step on anyone's toes and tell you that she doesn't like him or think he's good enough for you. And maybe she did tell that other girl on purpose because she doesn't want to directly hurt you to your face by telling you how she really feels. Now she's upset that you're marrying someone that she thinks isn't good enough for you, if anything that's a compliment. If he treats you like gold, then that's a different story.
When it comes down to it, she is being immature about everything. But sometimes it's hard to support someone's decision to do something as big as marry someone that they don't think is right for them. So it's easier for her to act this way than just grin and pretend that she's happy for you when she really isn't. I can understand why you're hurt, but you may want to hear her through on this. You don't want to marry someone and later regret it. People tend to have a much different perspective of a relationshihp when they're not in it compared to the couple that are in the relationship.
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A
female
reader, ntt +, writes (19 January 2010):
Well, why don't you try talking to your friend about why she thinks that about your relationship. I'm not trying to be harsh, but maybe he cheated on you with her, and she is worried about this? Realizing that she made a big mistake, but doesn't want to tell you in fear of you slamming the door in her face.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010): If you feel like your happy with the guy you are with and you feel like he is the one..go for it regardless of what other people say even if she is your best friend....look my best friend has been with this same guy for about 3 years going onto 4...i dont like the way he treats her sometimes but they get through it and shes happy i care about her and everything but if she is happy she is happy.. my point is, if she was your best friend she would want to see you happy even if it means marrying a guy she completly disapproves of..she doesnt know what goes on in ur private moments between you and your bf so she shouldnt be quick to judge him...you go gurl..marry man..and as your made of honor i would pick a family memeber that has always been there for you(just my opinion)
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