A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am 16 and i am pregnant. my boyfriend (now he isn't my anymore) just tuned 18 and he does not want the baby. he told me to abort the unborn child. but i don't want to. i want to have this baby.is this the right decision? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, darkangelalliance  +, writes (7 January 2009):
hi. i was 16 when i got pregnant, and i ended up in the same situation. i am now 18 and with a different partner bringing up our daughter and settling down. what you need to think about is:1: can i care for this child the way it needs2: will i resent the child for it's dad leaving3: will i have family members who can help me4: do i want this baby for it's benefit or for mineit's hard when you're on your own (i got with my partner a few month after my daughter was born) but with the right amount of help and, realization of how difficult it is it is worth it.
A
female
reader, gdschild1982  +, writes (11 August 2008):
I am 26 years old and pregnant from a guy who does not want me to have the baby, however; abortion is no where near an option for me. People are on here telling you to abort the baby because it will be hard to deal with it as a single teenage mom, they are right it will be hard but Trust God. No no one is perfect but I am speaking from experience when I was 19 I got pregnant and was confused becuase it was from my first who turned out to be a jerk so when he went to calling me names I could not tell him I was pregnant and I did abort the baby for a lot of selfish reasons I realize now. The world has created a lot of help for mothers now at days so abortion will not be an option. But from EXPERIENCE I know that the abortion I had when I was 19 almost killed me and even after all of these years with all the counseling I still have a hard time forgiving myself for what I did to an innocent life. My motto is if you lay down in play be ready to give up your nights and days. A baby is a life NOT A SITUATION. So again I say do what is best for you but go with your heart and think real hard about LIFE, and what if someone aborted YOU, just because you were not planned or did not come at a convient time.
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A
female
reader, sarai +, writes (6 July 2008):
Hi sweetheart I would PLEASE ask u to think things over do not committ the big mistake of your life I have been there done that and regret it so so much I was 16 when I had an abortion my boyfriend wanted me to and my mom also so I taught doing it would makes things easier to keep the presure of me now I regret it my kid if I only had my kid I would be happy am not I don't have my boyfriend and half of my life is gone I killed an innocent kid that I made.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): Hiya im rebecca im 18 and I'm 21 weeks pregnant my fiance never wanted to keep our baby either but when he saw the baby on the scan at 13 weeks his heart melted an now he still has doubts but deep down he wants it but if that doesnt do it for him just wait and see when the baby is here he will want to no its hard but it will be worth it in the end. PM me if you want to talk x
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (11 April 2008):
 If you are willing to deal with being a single teen mother, then yes it is the "right" decision.
It will be hard, but germany has a good social system so it won't be impossible and won't mean that you have to life in poverty.
Don't count on the guy, he has made his wishes clear.
There is little romance in being a teen-mom, school is hard when 8 months pregnant and even harder when you are nursing, few boys will be intrested in a teen mom for anything but one night stands.
But many women have gone through it before you and managed.
Basically, it is your choice, what ever you choose to do, abort, give up for adoption or raise the kid, you are the one who will have to life with it.
If you feel you need help, don't be afraid to seek it out, there is a lot of support out there for young women in your situation. If it all gets too much it helps to have others there for you or even just to know you are not alone.
Good luck and may you make the best choice.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): Don't let anyone tell you what to do. If you ask any teenage mother they'll tell you that they've been through some hard times but none of them regret keeping their baby but you will regret getting an abortion. Its one of the worst decisions to have to make. I was in your same position at 16 and I wish I did differently. If theres no father so what it will still have you to love and care for it. Hope that helps you :]
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): I vote to have an abortion.
It's not a choice between keeping the baby or feeling bad about an abortion. You will feel bad about some aspect of this situation no matter what you do.
If you keep the baby, your youth is mostly over. You will feel loss over that sacrifice for the rest of your life, and you will feel sadness over the things that your baby won't be able to have. If you have the baby and put it up for adoption, you will feel loss over the baby for the rest of your life. If you have an abortion, you will feel loss over that for the rest of your life too.
The only way to win this game is not to get pregnant. Now it's just a question of which kind of loss you want to do.
Please realize that if you BF does not want the baby, then he will not be what you want him to be in a father. Maybe he will provide child support and maybe he will be involved, but whatever kind of person he is, that's who he is going to stay. Having a child will not change him or make your relationship with him any better. (In fact all the added stress will probably make it worse.)
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A
female
reader, raima  +, writes (10 April 2008):
 he dont want because he was not serious with you that is sure and now he is thinking that may be one day you will ask him to support you to taking care of baby even at this time i mean at your age guys are not serious about relationship only F##KING( SORRY I DONT WANT TO UASE THAT WORD) but is it better truth he use of you and now through.... well whatever it is if you think you have this baby so dont worry you are right anbd if you think you will or can not take care you baby like other parents so better abort it i know it hurts this word always hurt to a mother but now he is in your womb but you dont know what will happen next if that baby will ask father or will get any comments in school or any hurtings from someone may be that time you will be regret ...........but inspite of all thing listin your heart and rest leave some upon god and your luck. bless you
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 April 2008):
 I'm with Brooke. Great, sound advice.
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female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (10 April 2008):
 dont have an abortion because someone else wants you to. you will regret it massively. if you are sure you want the baby and could cope on your own then have it and ask your parents/friends/local council for as much help and support as you can get.
take care
brooke
x
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (10 April 2008):
dont let him pressure you into what he wants. do what you want.it is better to keep the baby, as you will love him or her when he or she arrives. good luck
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A
male
reader, molar305 +, writes (10 April 2008):
 in my opinion don't have it. as much as you want to keep it and be its mother, i doubt keeping it will have the father coming around to help. Just from what you've said, he's no longer your boyfriend, and he's told you to abort, my guess is, he's running away
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