A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I am 21 years old and studying engineering as an International Student in a German university. I am about to finish my studies (final semester) and my final exams are about to start. But because of this problem I will explain, I even couldn’t sit and study. This thing is started to effect my academic life also. I felt the change many years ago and accepted myself as being bisexual but never told anyone. I always dated with girls and never had a relationship with a guy. But five weeks ago, I started to become very close friends with another student, doing his internship in the same office I work and do my thesis project. After some nice dinners and visits to each other I started to feel love. A Love even deeper I felt before for a girl. He is 23 years old and a German. We become very close in a very short time. He was the first talking about his thoughts and secrets after two nice dinners. I thought he was very quick but I also shared many things. Normally I never trusted anyone so quick but this time the person in front of me was different. We were getting together very often and share what we have and even I discovered he was quiet philosophical. Now I am strongly in love with him. I am so close to him but also very distant. Desperately, I thought he could be bisexual or at least bi-curious but I think he is a kind straight man. The first advice I need is, how could I understand it what he is straight or bisexual? (I think you will say just ask, but this could make him uncomfortable or he could also never talk with me again.) Maybe some of you now Germans, they are not so open or talkative. He is open with me but sometimes I feel distance, like he has more things to say but not talk. Sometimes I think that he feels different for me than a straight guy but he struggle inside. I never told him I am bisexual maybe he is also afraid? Maybe he thinks, I am straight and afraid to express more about him?? (We shared some past girlfriend and relationship experiences.)I really want to know what kind of feelings he has for me. I also want to tell him the truth about me but I am afraid to lose him and end our friendship. I may not handle his loss.Please I need some advice; I hope you all understand me and the situation that I am inside of. What should I do? I am planning to tell him my bisexuality but not my feelings, when we meet agin in several days. He is always very close to me, understanding and very open hearted. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon and thank you very much.
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male
reader, Drew21 +, writes (24 June 2011):
 Well, one easy way to find out where his sexuality lies is to ask him if he has any current dating prospects. I assume he's not in a relationship, but could you possibly ask if he has any prospects on the horizon? Maybe try to strike up a conversation about what he finds attractive in a partner? What he's looking for?
That may be revealing.
Also it might be a good jump off point for you to share your bisexuality. You could almost spin it off into a philosophical sidebar, know what i mean? Turn it into a talk about love, and your viewpoint on it. Maybe try to get out of him what he thinks about the concept of love.
From there, i have to agree with der_zyniker. You may have to give it all some time before you really get a real handle on where his thoughts lie.
I hope this helps!
A
male
reader, der_zyniker  +, writes (24 June 2011):
I would tell him that you are bisexual, but don't tell him about your feelings. If he is bisexual or gay then he will probably tell you eventually. I wouldn't expect him to tell you the same day that you tell him that you are bisexual, but if he is he'll want to tell you because he would want someone to talk to about it or confide in.
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