A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am giving a eulogy for my dad who passed away on Sept. 11. I am his first born and it is family tradition that the first born delivers the eulogy. I am panicked and afraid I will break down. So many people are relying on me. So, I also feel pressure. I am trying to write it but I never thought it would be this difficult!The funeral is on Monday. How on earth will I ever get through this? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 September 2018):
 How did it go OP?
*hugs*
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (17 September 2018):
 I am so sorry for your loss.
Nobody will be surprised or upset if you break down and cry. I have been to many funerals where the person delivering the eulogy has struggled. Take tissues with you so you can wipe away the tears. Do you have a sibling/partner/friend you can ask to stand with you if you feel this will be a comfort to you, or even who can take over if you get to a point where you can't carry on?
As for the content of the eulogy, just write whatever comes into your heart. Favourite memories. Funny things you dad used to say or do. A brief life history (ask mum or other family members for help on this). End it by telling him you love him.
Thinking of you at this sad time. You WILL find the strength to do it.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 September 2018):
 I am sorry for your loss. A eulogy is such a lovely and touching thing to do. I do understand your concern as you probably feel the pressure is on you because off the tradition. Either way try not to over think it. Write from the heart about your Dad and what he meant to you. Keep it short and sweet you don't need to write a long speech. Just write what is close to your heart.
As for crying well that is only natural sweetie. You won't let anybody down if you get upset. You need to remember it is okay to cry. You have suffered a great loss. Nobody is going to be upset with you for being upset. You have all lost a close family member, there will be more tears there than your own. Give it the best shot that you can and remember that your Dad will be proud off you. Also sometimes it can be a good idea to add some light hearted humor about your father so use can smile and laugh about the good times.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 September 2018):
I'm so sorry for your loss, OP
My advice? Make it short and sweet. If you cry that is OK! if you feel like you are going to choke up, that is OK too! No one is going to critique you, OK?
I think WiseOwlE's advice about say what you would want your dad to hear is a good advice. Speak to him. while funerals are for the living, it can also be a celebration of the life of the person who passed.
You can do it. Do it for you, and for your father.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2018): My most sincere condolences for your loss. God bless you and your family, my dear.
Practice. Make a list of wonderful things you recall about your father. Then compose a rough-draft of your eulogy. Don't over-study or overthink it. Write from the heart.
You obviously loved your father. So speak as though he could hear your words; and you want him to know how you feel. If you practice, most of your emotions will pour-out as you rehearse the eulogy. If you do breakdown, that's okay! It's your father! You're at a funeral in a room full of people pouring-out their grief and emotion. Just summon as much courage and composure as you can.
It doesn't have to be very long. Just heartfelt. Give yourself pauses for composure. Take slow deep-breaths to steady yourself. Don't try to race through it. Keep your eyes above the crowd. Looking into faces is what choked me up. Look at the back-wall above their heads, glance down to the podium when you feel a rush of emotion, and speak. Have a glass of water nearby, so you can swallow a few tears.
Tell your daddy how much you love him; and summon the courage to hold it together in order to do that. Trust me, you'll find the strength.
You've got this!
May God comfort you, and give you strength.
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