A
female
age
30-35,
*ounglove
writes:I am in highschool and i am trying to get an idea of what i might want to major in. I really want to do something that helps other people...i am considering alot of things..like...physcology, social work, nurse,lawyer, and doctor. The one that sticks out in my mind is a doctor. but im afraid i won't be good at it. and i'm afraid i won't be smart enough for med. school. I am a straight a student at a private h.s. so i hope i would be ok. Also i am worried about having a family and how i will spend time with them. Help me plz! i am so lost! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2008):
I am in your exact position. I am also 15 and in a private high school. I constantly think about my future and what I want to be when I get older. I want to make the right choice, but don't know how.
i don't know if you really want to hear my opinion since I'm the same age as you, but I'll tell you what i know about being a psychologist, nurse, and doctor because I am interested in those careers as well.
As for psychology, I do know that a lot of people want to major in that and that once you get out of high school, it's kind of hard to find a job. But, I am taking a psychology course now, and love it! It's so interesting to learn about how people think and how the brain works.
As for the career of a nurse, my grandmother was a nurse and she really enjoyed it. If you don't want to go to school for as long, it's a really good choice. But, as in almost every job, you have to work your way up. So, if you do decide to be a nurse, just be prepared to change bed linens and stuff like that for your first few years.
And for the career of a doctor, it really depends on what kind of doctor you want to be. I am really considering this option as well, but like you, I'm afraid that medical school will be really hard, school will take up my life, i won't have much time for a family or social life. So, I would look up some types of doctors so that you can narrow it down. that's what i'm doing.
Just make sure that you don't have a closed mind and are open to new careers. And, if you're interested in one, get some background information on it so that you will be more informed. Because for me, it really helps to know all the info and have everything laid out before you make a decision. But, I'm sure that in whatever career you choose, you will be great at it. As it is for me as well, it's just the matter of choosing one.
sorry i couldn't help you with a social worker and lawyer. but, I hope this helps!
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (6 August 2008):
I wish I could give you an answer that's even half as wise as the two you already have!
It is actually GOOD that you are thinking of these things. It is GOOD that you are making plans!
But please don't let it become a case of WORRY!
There's an old saying, "You can't steer a parked car.". Which means, any plan you set out to execute is infinitely better than no plan. When you sit in a parked car neither its direction nor its location changes no matter how much you turn the wheel. But once it is in motion - you can drive it to an infinite number of places, via an infinite number of routes. Even turn it completely around, if need be!
Make use of whatever opportunities you have. My kids were exposed to several cultures, languages, and countries through church youth groups. My sons had first-hand experience with several vocations and avocations through Boy Scouts. Other kids become involved with school clubs and community service organizations. Any of these activities can give you first-hand experiences, and contacts with adults in a wide range of careers. This information is invaluable to helping you decide what path to pursue.
Don't be afraid to change your mind. My daughter wanted to be a veterinarian. She graduated with the second best academic record in her High School class of almost 400. Her undergraduate education was entirely financed with scholarships and grants. Part way through college she decided that veterinary medicine wasn't a good fit for her. She still completed her Biology degree - and a degree in Agricultural Animal Science.
Today she is married and a mother to my two granddaughters. Now, I want her in some kind of graduate school. She BELONGS in grad school. But what she is doing now is quite noble and honorable. I admire her courage to change her mind and her path. I think she will go to grad school - probably 5 years from now. For all the demands of mothering, she is still pursuing an interest in sustainable agriculture, and I suspect that some day she will work in that area.
I want to warn you against something I have observed about young women around your age. Don't be afraid to be smart! Someplace between junior high school and high school, girls stop being smart. Somebody told them it just isn't feminine. Intelligence intimidates their boyfriends. Smart isn't sexy. It's not my imagination: You can see it in the enrollment of High School advanced placement classes - by senior year, they are dominated by boys.
Brainy chicks ARE sexy! In fact, the most important organ for sexual enjoyment is located between the ears. Several incarnations ago I worked at a Washington (D.C.) area technical consulting firm. What the popular press sometimes calls a "think tank", or politicians call "beltway bandits". It wasn't unusual to encounter a military General or Colonel in our building, or an occasional Deputy Undersecretary of some cabinet department. And the front-office staff that greeted them was dominated by beautiful people - the women were tall, slim, big-boobed with pasted-on smiles and perfect hair.
One day I realized I wasn't really attracted to the women I saw every day when I walked in. Sure, I sometimes fantasized about a roll in bed with some of them. But if I was going to have a relationship - an affair outside my marriage - I wouldn't choose one of them. Instead, it would be one of the women I sat in staff meetings with. The Mathematician who was a dozen years older than me, and an expert in cryptography. The chunky chick with the braces, who had the PhD in Nuclear Physics. The skinny redhead with the stringy hair, who played dulcimer and spoke at least three languages.
In his book, "The Ascent of Man", Dr Jacob Bronowski devoted most of a chapter analyzing the wives of prominent scientists from the early 20th century. People like Einstein, Salk, von Neuman, Fermi. He found that intelligent men were attracted to intelligent women - and they tended to produce intelligent kids. People, he concluded, may not be real picky about who they go to bed with - but they are VERY careful about who they take as life partners, and parents for their children.
If, as I suspect, you have above average intelligence, put it to use! Even if you intend to be a mother, stay in school and go as far as you can. That will make you a better mother - better wife - and more attractive to your husband.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Apart from academic ability, there are many other attributes required to be a doctor. I work in a medical field myself but I did a PhD in medical research rather than medical school MD training as such. At your age I wanted to be a graphic designer but it never seemed to happen.
I have previously trained and worked as a social worker (hated it), a clinical psychologist (loved it), a lecturer (hated it) and then drifted into academic research (verdict out!). My point is that you cannot map your life out at your age and you are allowed to change your mind as you go along. Too much pressure on young people these days to plan everything is advance! See a careers guidance officer to get a feel for different occupations and ask about work placement opportunities in your holidays to follow people who do jobs you like the sound of. If you are bright, you can be anything you want to be...even if you don't know what that is at the moment.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2008): Hi.
Difficult one.
How can one ever be sure??
I know for me personally (am 36y old) it was tough.
I work al the way through school, and med school and the working hours beyand that was like nothing i couldve imagined before! I lost contact with normal friends (ie non-medical people) and it seemed like it would never finish. It was always a scramble getting the best job to advance your career, at the best hospital etc. Worked abroad to prove "wide range of Experience". Tried to publish research that was done in time that i didnt have. HAd to cope emotionally with people dying all the time!!! And contrary to my thoughts before i started this route, you cant "help everyone". Your patients die, the family is upset and you have to continue as if it doesnt affect you. You see people in magnificent amounts of pain and distress and realise the social decline of the world. You try, but being never good enough to save everyone is hard when you are a perfectionist (as one is likely to be when you have the brains to do this type of thing). And no one can share in your loneliness unless they are medical too.
Now only can i start having children and even now it doesnt seem like a good time. I am going to be an old mother, who is too tired to play with her children after giving her life to other sick people. And a husband who finds it progressively hard to understand why i jump when the bleep goes off and rush away to unknown people, while my family needs me at home.
I would have done something allied to medicine eg physical therapist or occupational therapist if i had to do it over. But for now i have to do what i do.
It is a noble job, but it comes at great expense.
I cant speak for the other jobs
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