A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Help!! My boyfriend and I have been wanting a baby were emotionaly prepared for one i dont go out cuz i dont get along with people especially girls i dont drink and smoke anymore cause i hate it and i no pretty much everything on how to raise a baby b/c i raised my cousin the only thing we are worried about is the money and my mom he gets checks only of 500 a month and my mom would kill me why do i want a baby so bad if i have nothing to lose??
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): Honestly, I dont know how else to put this but I cannot think of a more stupid move for someone your age.
1 - Chances are you will not even know the father in a few years. Just a fact.
2 - What does you mothers income have anything to do with YOU having a baby? You think you can make a grown up decision like that, then take grown up responsibility as well. Its YOUR baby - no one else's job to raise it but you.
3 - The silliest thing in everything that you wrote is that your "emotionally prepared" for having a child. At 15, you're not emotionally prepared to watch Toy Story 3, never mind have a child. Stop kidding yourself.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): You will probably lose any chance you might have had of getting a good job and a career as you won't get a proper education at school or go to university. At the same time you will also be sponging off those around you for help, support and most of all money. You will also be dooming your child from the start by bringing them into an environment where you don't have any money, you are not married, you have a low level of education, and you do not have your own home. I would be surprised if you can even drive. I mean, in your original post your English is terrible, indicating that your baby will probably end up similarly poorly educated. Do everyone a favour and don't have a baby. On the other hand if you wish to be entirely selfish and not care about the consequences for all those around you- including the baby- then go ahead and have one safe in the knowledge that everyone else will end up paying for it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): You are fifteen; what do you have to offer a baby? You don't have a full education, you don't have enough money. I presume you don't have your own house and will have to rely on your mother to let you bring up the baby in her house, thereby piling a load of responsibility ontop of her just because you can't be bothered to wait. Therefore it seems to me that your reasons for wanting a baby are entirely selfish. You will be completely reliant on others. Get an education and a job at the very least before you even think about having a baby so that other people won't have to bail you out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): sixty thousand pounds in english money. so it would be about 114 000 in American dollars, to raise a baby with the MINIMUM PRICE, to the age of 18. NO you don't have the right supplies for it.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 June 2010):
House, car, career, holidays, approx $150,000 to $200,000 per child until they're 18, freedom, sleep, rest days. The list is endless. Too many teenagers like to think they're ready. None of them really are. The big issue is the money. The fact is you just don't have it. At all. You'll need college funds for your kids, health insurances, a car, a house whether bought or rented. You're too young, and you don't have the money. You're not ready at all. Wait, get your career together and your own life together.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): Heey look I'm 15 too and this decision that you just took Is so wrong. At first, you're still in school you have studiees , you have a future think about all thise things that you will get if you continue studies your OWN job your OWN appartment yourr OWN check which could be so much more than your moms one,your OWN dreams . You have a 99 per cent to get the life that you want and that you will build by yourself and all that you do is taking this 1 per cent of chance to go and raise a baby and you're still. 15? At second,you're talking about a baby, do you know what does a baby need? To eat which needs money which you don't have because you guyes didn't even finish school then what about his clothes?or the life that every baby deserves? If your childhood wasn't a good one well that doesn't mean that your baby haas to live in the same case. You should say:HELL NOT I'm gonna study have a work have MONEY and then have a baby .to have a baby you've got to make all of these before and that's the cycle. At third and finally, I don't know how old is your bf but he seriously shows how much he cares about your futur and your baby's one. Everyone has a futur and if that's the step that you're taking then I'm sorry again to say that its totally wrong because yiure giving up everything by your own hands. I hope it will work out for you.
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male
reader, imp of high noon +, writes (29 June 2010):
Though you may think you are emotionally prepared to have a child, even without knowing you or anything about you, I would have to disagree. Having a child is the single greatest commitment an individual can consciously make, quite simply I don't believe you are ready to make that decision. The way you have phrased you question (What is the question?) is a touch disturbing, you want a baby because you have nothing to lose, I have to say, aged just 15 you have everything to lose. Can you support a child, can your boyfriend? why should your mother have to support your child? Lets not be naive, will you relationship with your boyfriend last? A lone parent is perfectly capable of raising a child, but it is harder anyone will tell you that. To be absolutley brutally honest, if you have even a fraction of the maturity that you say you do, you'll do the clever thing, which is: finish your education, see how things go with your boyfriend, live a bit more life, broaden your horizens. In a few years assess your situation and see where you stand, you might decide that you want a family, you'll be glad you had the time though. Your teenage years are some of the hardest, it doesn't necessarily get any easier I won't dress that up, but you don't need to make it harder for yourself.
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male
reader, ReapRHTB +, writes (29 June 2010):
 You are simply to young i know you think you are ready for alot of things but a baby is not one. When i was 15 I thought i could out run a bullet because i was the fastest sprinter in the Nation. Till my mom took me out side and shot a gun while i ran. Lesson learned i am not a human bullet.
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (29 June 2010):
 You have absolutely everything to lose. This would be a very very poor choice to make at this stage in your life.
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female
reader, Philosophyzer +, writes (29 June 2010):
 Well, I don't know why you want a baby so bad. Maybe you had a bad experience as a child. Perhaps you've had a hard life at home. Maybe you want something to love you unconditionally. Or perhaps, you think that to show your love to this boyfriend, you should have a baby to prove it. No one can find out, but you.
You ask, "What do I have to lose?" Everything. Your future. Your relationship with your Mother. Possibly, so much more that you can't even imagine.
You might feel like you are prepared to love and nurture a child, but you truly are not emotionally prepared for raising a child. A child is much more than hugs and kisses. It is a lot of work. And even if you were emotionally prepared, $500 in the United States is barely enough for the rent to a studio apartment in a really horrible part of town, let alone diapers, groceries, electricity, doctor's appointments, and so much more.
A baby won't fill any sort of void you feel, dear. It will only create more problems. Don't you have dreams or aspirations of perhaps going to college or working in a field you might enjoy? Focus on what is important: Bettering yourself. Go to school and do well. Be successful and find happiness in other facets of life. Make strong bonds with the family you already have!
How old is this boy? Is he working? My guess is that he might be a little advanced for you. Take things slow and reconsider this relationship and the decisions you are debating making.
Be smart, be safe, be a kid! ;-) Best of luck.
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