A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello..I am young..a 17 year old girll.I fell for this one man between the age of 40-50 years old in 2005.He is the best guy I have ever seen in my life and I love him to death. Actually, I am overly obsessed with him.I used to go to his church he was the guitarist on stage for the church and he used to stare at me and smile and what not and i loved every bit of it.He was married though in a horrible marriage his wife was a drug addict so he ended up gettign divorced later on in 2005. After he got divorced i saw less of him because he had to take care of both of the kids,he has two children, small kids,his ex wife is only 25.Well, i starting emailing him about a year ago and well I told him how i felt about him and how i felt about the stuff he did in church and stuff he told me i was attractive but that he was way too old for me and it kills me it makes me want to die other ppl tell me there are othe rfish in the sea.But hes the best looking fish and i dont care if there are other fishies in the sea i want him and him only.Im in love, obsessive i cant stop thinking of him no matter how hard i try.He is single right now and he said im not able to take care of his kids and thats the reason why we can never be together.It makes me so depressed.I will be 18 in may his birthday is also in may.we have tons of similarities.alot of ppl tell me that.anyways i moved away form him in 2007 and all i want to do is talk to him and what not.i think his gray hair is really hot and i think its hot that hes experienced and older.i love the way he treats his kids,i admire everything about him.We even have the same smile i can't stop going on and on sorry, you are probably gona tell me what everyone one has been telling me.but i know myself i will never i my life love someone again i lvoe this man.I know that I will never fall in love again..I don't know what to do.I just needed to vent.it is killing me that we can never be together:(I am soo burdened
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female
reader, brooke5426  +, writes (29 March 2008):
 as much as it hurts, you cant make someone love you. You cant make someone want to be with you. its painful alright but if he knows how much you want him and hes still not letting it happen it really is time to move on.
its one thing for you to say you are the only one for him but he obviously doesnt agree - not at this point anyway - or he would be with you.
unrequited love is definitely a trauma but it happens to everyone at some point and you will learn so much from this so stay strong and wait for it to pass.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 March 2008):
 In love you can do everything.
When you are love struck , nothing is impossible.
It is not good to be obsessive with another person.
We may love them with all our heart but we should not be obsessive with them
No one knows your heart better than you.
We can plan for the future but no one will know what the future will be.
Better to trust in the Lord always.
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A
female
reader, ObsessiveElley +, writes (29 March 2008):
 Well..I am what I say..obsessed..I'm obsessed with this man..Thast where my name comes from..I understand and appreciate you all..You all are righ tin your answers..in the way you see themm..
But..I am completely obsessed and I think that he should love me and I want to be with him..I understand he may be old..but I wana be with him until he dies..I want to be the last one he was with before he dies..not his ex..I want to be his last wife..im in love...No one understands..for me there is no hope..i would do anythign i could to get with this man..ANYTHING...
I know you all think hes too old..but i dont care about his age..i have met soem very immature 40 yr olds and 50 yr olds..
plus..i dont know..we should be toghether...too bad though..thats why im obsessed..
A boy my age will break my heart quicker...plus i dont attract them..nor am i attracted to them now..im just attracted to HIM..and thats it...ever sinc ehim i havent looked at anothe rboy or htought about being in love with another boy..plus i have dreams aout him..prophetic dreams that come true..
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (29 March 2008):
 I agree with Brooke. Forget him, You have no future with him.
Think of what your life will be like when you get to 30, he will be 70-80...You'll be in your prime, i'm not going to say where he will be, i'll leave that for you to decide.
I was 25 when I fell for a 45 year old. I loved him so much...or at least I thought I did. Spoilt me rotten - at first.
After a couple of years he became over obsessive with me, he was so jealous and very insecure. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere, speak to any other man, if I spoke to the postman - he thought I was having an affair with him. Then he became violent and abusive. I managed to break away, 13 years later, but I was 38 by then.
I felt like i'd wasted all those years of my life. I'm so glad we never married, because i'm 50 now and he is 70.
Now i'm not saying he will treat you the same, but what I am saying is - if you did end up together, having kids, you may regret it sooner than you think.
Get out there and find some young stud with no ties - that'll make you happy and you will have the freedom to do anything you want with him. Have fun!!
Please take care...you're only young once.
BigSis xXx
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A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (29 March 2008):
wait til you are in your 20s then, he might feel more comfortable about the age thing when you are out of you teens. and for gods sake dont kill yourself! that wont help you be with him will it?
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A
female
reader, ObsessiveElley +, writes (29 March 2008):
Hi guys and thanks for the answers..everyone says that about the father figure..I knew somone would say that..no, I don't hate you..This man is not righ tto be looking for someone his age and that can take care of his kids because im the only one for him...
I really belive that we are twin flames..and if he marries another woman i bet they will get divced just like his other two marriages because he wasnt made fo rthemm he was made for me..i mean i was made fo rhim..
My only live with my dad..my mom is gone..
I didn't even know he was in his forties at first..i thought he was early 20's..so i wasnt interested in middle aged men at ttime...i thought he was younger..but i found out he was older and i didnt care..I wish I could show ppl how true my love for him was..one time i thought abotu killing myself to show ppl and to show him how deep my love was fo rhim..
I mean...he needs a woman thats gonna take care of his kids..not him..
and if she has no kids herself, then it will be just like my experience..his son loves me..i think his kids would get used to me very quickly..He's just scared cuz of his other drug addict ex wife..but what about the one he married around his age?..they STILL got divorced, so age is no excuse..itshe person..not the age..
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A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (29 March 2008):
your gonna hate me and im gonna sound like a recording of everyone you know but you gotta try to forget him. he's right, he is too old for you. i can see why it is attractive to you and boys your age are probably total idiots in comparison but it wouldnt work.
He's right to be looking for someone who can take care of his kids. And you should be looking for someone to spend your youth with.
I'm guessing by your words that you dont have a father figure in your life? if thats the case it is proven to be a huge contribution to teenage girls' attraction to middle age men but it is not healthy for a relationship.
First love always hurts like hell and i remember being 18, crying to my family and friends that the love of my life had dumped me and id never be happy again. everyone told me i was so young, had my whole life ahead of me and there were plenty more where he came from. none of that helped my broken heart. but it was true.
i was 150% convinced id never fall in love again but i did and i appreciated it more cos id felt that pain you feel now.
not gonna lie, part of me still loves my first love he has a special place in my heart but im over it and you will be too.
try to stay away from him and keep busy. i know how much pain you're in -i've done the crying all night, vomiting, cant breathe, would kill to hear him say i love you thing and i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy but i PROMISE it will go away. promise! xx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (29 March 2008):
There is nothing wrong to love him.
You will have to convince him that your love is real .
What you can do now is try to get involved with his kids and
see if you can get along with them and feel what life is about with an instant family.
This experience will then show you if you will fit into their life.
Give your burden to Jesus.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): It sounds like you really have true feelings for this man. I'm not going to tell you that you just have a crush or that you will get over him, because you probably won't.
He is probably still having a tough time with raising his kids all alone and it's normal that he might need some time. Let him know that you truly care about him and that you are willing to wait if he so chooses.
Don't let others discourage you if you truly love this man. Age doesn't matter. Follow your instincts and feelings no matter what anyone says and I'm sure you'll have him in the end.
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