A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:READ THIS!!!! PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE!!!okay. so. my boyfriend and i are both 20 years of age. have been dating for 3 years now, and for the past year, i have completely lost almost all of my sex drive that i used to have with him. like most relationships, we began our relationship with daily sex. now its around 2 times a month. bad right.?when it comes down to sex, i can never get wet anymore, or am just never in the mood. its not that the sex is bad, because its not. i dont know what it is and it just really bothers me. i feel like i never please my boyfriend anymore, he is always horny and is always wanting sex. i just never want it. i feel realy bad on his behalf.when i come to think about it tho.. there are some frustrations that i have with him that could possibly be a turn off:?laziness, lack of oral hygeine, same sexual position (always) "boring", same sex location (parents house "quiet sex", put on pounds, poor education, "asking" for sex, thinking that he can instantly have sex with me when we get to bed (im not instantly in the mood!)then passing right out after we get finished (while im left wide awake wishing that i had an orgasim). i also get mad at him for stupid reasons. its like any little thing he does drives me crazy. (like not cleaning up after himself, or whinig about sex, being irresponsible, i really want this all to change! i dont know why i never want to have sex anymore!! is this normal? could i be falling out of love with this man? or are we just stuck too much in a lazy routine now? what can i do to be in the mood more? i really love his company and cant picture him being out of my life, but my sex intrest really needs to improve!!! am i just bored with it all? i feel like a vacation for 2 would possibly be the trick..
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female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (25 March 2010):
 Well its no wonder you don't want to have sex with him anymore... he doesn't sound very appealing. Sex is just as much an emotional act as it is physical, and if you first aren't feeling that emotional connection, and you aren't even remotely attracted to him, then you don't really have anything. Try work on the emotional first. COMMUNICATE with him.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (25 March 2010):
 If you don't have confidence that you are going to get an orgasm, you aren't going to get excited about having sex. Loss of sexual appetite is a symptom of his poor performance. Just like other areas of his life he is just doing the minimum to get by.
So what should you do. Make a sex date with him. Tell him you need to get your orgasm first. Make sure the date starts with a shower. Try new positions. The idea is to build up your sexual confidence. When you are regualarly making it to the finish line you will be more iterested in the starting line.
A vacation is not a bad idea if it is affordable. Getting your own apartment is better. I'm assuming money is a problem. That is a whole different problem and it does need to be addressed.
I really think that the petty annoyances will go away when you aren't so sexually frustrated.
FA
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (25 March 2010):
 You answered your own question, all of those things sound like a turn off. You could sit down and talk with him but be careful because you don't just wanna sound like you're putting him down.
I also think you overdid it with the daily sex when you started going out. Your body probably just got bored with it.
Try and get out of the routine. Ask your boyfriend to help you out more. Try and initiate sex somewhere different. ENCOURAGE HIM TO CLEAN HIS TEETH.
I'm sure you're not fat but if you're insecure about your weight then do some more exercise. You might even find that if you get your adrenaline pumping then you'll feel more up for sex.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (25 March 2010):
 You almost answered this issue yourself. You are bored with the routine relationship and turned-off by the reality of a man who has become self-centered. Such is one of men's worst tendencies.
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