A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Within the past few months I have developed a preference towards Asian men only. It started when I began listening to Korean boy bands and watching Korean dramas. I have always been interested in asian cultures and I have always been attracted to asian men but now I am ONLY attracted to asian men. My problem is that I am white and I am married to a white man who I am no longer attracted to. We don't have sex anymore either.I started to talk dirty to many asian men online using webcam and then it happened- I actually cheated on my husband 5 times with 3 different men- two Koreans and one Chinese. He found out and has decided to forgive me but I really don't want to be with him anymore I can't stop thinking about being with asian men and I actually want to keep having sex with them.My question is, how can I forget about this asian obsession and save my marriage?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2009): Thank you for your honest replies. Baddogbj I have been to Beijing before and it is so nice! I am actually travelling to asia for about 3 months from the start of November but I am going to try and be good. It's just not fair on my husband, especially since he is letting me travel and I will be using his money as well as my own to do so. But of course, anything is possible I just need to be honest with him.
ilovebowsandcherries- I think you are right about the councelling. I think I have just been afraid to let go of my obsession.
Anonymous- I fear you may be right but I think I do need to try and save my marriage, after all, I used to love him surely I can get some feelings back for him?
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (16 July 2009):
 Come to Beijing - it's the mother ship!
Seriously there are so many white guys in Asia with Asian wives or girlfriends (or both) that it would be beautiful to see someone redressing the balance just a little bit.
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (16 July 2009):
 perhaps going to a marriage counsellor find out why you are so obsessed with Asian men.
if you want to save your marriage then i do suggest the counselling sessions but if you are no longer in love with your husband due to your obsession then maybe it's best to get a divorce leave him find someone else who will love him as much as he will love her.
you say you guys never have sex anymore due to your obsession and wanting it with Asian men then maybe this marriage has come to an end i mean you've already cheated but he's clearly a good enough man to try and save your marriage by forgiving you not many men would do that if any...
if you really want this marriage to work i strongly do suggest you get counselling about the whole thing something you both can work together on.
but if you feel its over then tell him it is so you're not pulling him along by a string.
Hope this helps good luck
x ilovebowsandcherries x =)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009): You cant. Some people are attracted to a certain race different from their own for a life. Some people go through phases. You will have to accept cultural differences as part of your life,not just as a spectator. You will also have to expect small minded racist remarks from time to time. Here in the uk no one even notices anymore. 25 years ago it would have attracted negative attention. If this feeling doesnt go away then your your marriage is going to end eventualy. I am black my husband is white. I was wary at first because he was very much like you and i was afraid he saw me at novelty value. He is still here,still the same and still mixes with a mainly black crowd.
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