A
male
age
41-50,
*8yodude
writes:Ok readers please help. Please be honest and blatantly straightforward. I am so tired of reading the answers that men want or NEED to hear as opposed to the real truth. Experienced women can surely help me out here.Ok, I'm a nice looking 38 year old male, 6' 1" 200lbs. I've never had problems getting the ladies. I'm currently in a 3 year relationship with a hot 46 year old cougar. Recently, after some careful questioning, she admitted that she HAS had vaginal orgasms, without clitoral stimulation, with one ex lover and one ex husband, on several occasions but not every time, (but not sure what to believe there). The entire time we've been together she told me she couldn't have a vaginal orgasm, obviously to protect my ego. I have been with many many women, some one nighters and lots of long and short term relationships. Good sex for my partner has rarely been an issue! I'm passionate, I'm a good kisser, I take my time, etc.... I'm experienced! And my penis size is average to above average, depending on the girl you ask haha, but I've never been overly concerned about my length or girth. 6.5L x 6around, little girthier and slightly longer after penis pump. I've made several girls have full squirting orgasms on a regular basis and MOST girls, even one nighters, have orgasmed during sex at least once... Or faked it very convincingly. I really don't think it's my size or technique...I love foreplay, toys, whatever she wants. But NOW my stupid brain can NOT get passed the fact that other guys made her cum vaginally and I can't! no matter how hard we try! It makes me automatically assume these other guys had big fat potato dicks and that's what she needs to orgasm! I mean common sense should tell anyone that the ex's definitely have something I don't. Size and/or shape is the only thing that realistically makes any sense because I'm better looking than both other guys, honestly. She says our sex life is great. She says I'm the hottest guy she's ever been with. She says my length hurts when she's sitting straight up on top and my girth is "good" of whatever. She has only been able to achieve vaginal orgasms with ex's when she's on top and thrusting vigorously. But never with me, not even close I don't think. Clitoral orgasms are no problem, with my mouth or with vibration. Shoot me straight here so I can at least understand! I know size and shape are VERY important for vaginal orgasms. I'm never going to feel like a real man until I fuck her better than her ex's! Guys you understand! I know she'll never forget those first few vaginal orgasms. That's probably what she fantacizes about when she masturbates, I would if I were her! Side note: my stamina is great, sometimes I don't finish because I can't and usually she's done physically anyways. What do you think, honestly?!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, marianox  +, writes (25 January 2017):
Same boat. I am sorry but you never will feel confortablr and if you weren't able to be better than exes you'll never do. I don't know, maybe it's a matter of sexual compatibility or something. Women thinks different than us. They say that they don't care about her past super orgasms and I personally don't believe them. Of course, when they want to settle down and find someone who is the "perfect " man they put the sexual thing in second place. I read an article once where it was written that no one get married with her best sexual partner. The issue is when your wife IS your best sexual partner
A
female
reader, TamedVixen +, writes (11 October 2016):
 Okay here is the straight answer from a female who isn't ashamed to tell people "I Love Sex" and in the world of most women I am a veritable wh*re because I have no inhibitions in the bedroom. I also don't give 2 winks about discussing sex and/or anatomy. Extra Bonus: I am a Registered Nurse that specializes in Gynecology is I will give you factual info.
THE WOMEN: Don't listen to anyone who says Women Do Not Think About/Approach Sex Like Men. This can cause you problems with a capital P. Women with lower hormone levels will be less interested. It also causes lower ability to orgasm. Women with average range hormones will be around 65% of your United States population. Meaning the stuff you read about women ie; How to date, How to turn her on, How to get her to melt, How to un-hurt her feelings(you catch my drift?)will apply to a large portion of the female population. Women with higher hormones will be wild in bed, uninhibited, orgasm MUCH easier and will actually have a very "male like" view on sex. The magazine/internet How To articles will not work well with these ladies. So please make sure you know generally which category YOUR current lover falls under.
THE G-SPOT FACTS: Women do not orgasm easily from penetration and 67% have never, will never, can never, accomplish it no matter what libido category she's in. The less inhibited she is and the more she enjoys sex the better chance you MAY be able to get her to reach a penetration orgasm. Why? Because 100% of women have to be relaxed, comfortable, and unimaginably aroused to even maybe cum with intercourse. Add to that, direct pressure on the G-Spot whether penis or finger is darn uncomfortable because inexplicably it makes you feel like you are going to urinate. Imagine the worst you've ever had to pee while trapped in the car. You are fighting it back with every muscle in your pelvis & one wrong move will end the battle. It literally feels like that. Because it's uncomfortable women begin losing arousal and now it's not going to happen. It takes time and practice on a woman's part to fight past that sensation without allowing it to affect her arousal. The good news is #1 - It can be done #2 - Your girl already has done the work so you don't need to patiently practice with her.
THE SCIENCE: Scientists are now thinking the G-Spot is part of the clitoris. We already know that the tiny little bud of it that's outside her continues for several inches up inside of her. Science thinks perhaps the clitoris ends (or begins?) internally with a large bundle of nerves somewhat like a prostate on men. Also the G-spot is only rubbed enough to cum at a couple of PARTICULARLY PERFECT angles. These angles come from very specific sexual positions. Unfortunately the positions vary depending on her exact G location, her weight, her flexibility - AND his - penis size, penis shape (does it curve a little up, to the left, perfectly straight out)his flexibility. So I can't tell you what angle. You will have to experiment with her by slowly entering then stop. Ask. If no shift, then again. Etc. (Usually missionary w/ a pillow under her hips is a good bet. Also doggie with her head laying flat on the mattress and her hips lower then normal so instead of entering her w/ penis & vagina lined up, you have to angle down to enter is a good position for most)
THE HOW TO: Foreplay all day. Text messages, rubbing against her, telling her how you can't wait for later since she enthralls you. Then she's aroused already. Get her wild in bed while keeping yourself in control. This isn't easy for men so you really have to focus. Perform oral until she's right on the brink of orgasm, STOP and penetrate immediately. Seriously, IMMEDIATELY!!! Before she loses her hold on the peak & starts sliding back down the mountain which happens Mach 7 fast in women. Now the hardest part. For her to orgasm you have to hit the G-spot while penetrating her for longer then a man can without cumming himself. My suggestion would be masturbation one hour before. Alone or with her help. It doesn't matter.
Good Luck and Have Fun!!!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 September 2016):
 She does not think about sex the way that you do, I can guarantee it. Men and Women really are wired differently. She had an orgasm while on top of her ex because it stimulated her Clitoris not because he was bigger or better. Concentrate on giving her a good time, well you both a good time! Most women will only Orgasm if they have there clitoris stimulated, obviously this is what was happening when she was on top. If she is lucky to know where her G spot his she would have told you, or even guided you. Now please stop worrying about your size, because it has a lot more to do with technique than anything else, try different angles and positions and just relax and enjoy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2016): Oh my God this is ridiculous. Something you REALLY need to understand about women is .....WE DON'T THINK LIKE MEN!!!I strongly doubt she is masturbating to the thought of previous orgasms. A female brain is not the same as your brain. What matters to you generally doesn't matter to us. Ok, example, I orgasmed with a previous partner (many moons ago)whilst he was inside me because of how his body was rubbing on my clitoris. I have never orgasmed from vaginal stimulation alone. He was a good lover, but he isn't the one I want, dream of and fantasise about. I want the man that I'm in love with now. I am crazy about the way he listens to me, cares about me, supports me, is sexy by nature because of confidence, listens to what I like in bed, how he takes his time and really wants to make me cum....which he does... again and again. Not through vaginal stimulation alone, far from it, but by practising what he knows I like. I could not care less about the size of a penis. The most naturally sexy man I've ever been with and was with for five years had the smallest penis I have known. I could not have cared less.Fun fact that maybe you don't know about women and their physiology. We cannot feel your penis in our vaginas past maybe an inch inside. There are no nerve endings in there. The only sensation we can feel deep in there is pain when maybe it's hitting the cervix which does have nerve endings. A bigger penis is not going to make me orgasm more. I think I would be in the majority here. What is a turn off is a man obsessing about something that DOES NOT MATTER TO US! And letting it get in the way of happy sex.I am attracted to, and turned on by, the sound of a man's voice, his eyes, his hair if it just hits his collar, nice arms and hands. The sight of a penis is a general turn off. Which is why there is hardly any porn with naked men for women to look at, it doesn't get most women off. A previous partner I had started to send me pictures of his penis. There is nothing sensual about that. It's crass and a turn off, but send a man a picture of breasts and pussy....that's a different story.What I'm trying to say is men and women are so different. We think in a completely different way. When you understand that the stuff you're obsessing about is not why we are in bed with you, then you'll be getting somewhere. Enjoy what you have together, because it's not about 'big, fat potato dicks' VERY far from it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2016): Honestly I can orgasm through just clitoral or both clitoral and vaginal stimulation. I find the they feel different in terms of intensity depending on a whole host of things, eg what mood I'm in, how tired I am, frequency of sex etc. For me sex is not all about the orgasm as that only lasts seconds; a big factor for me is how I feel about the man I'm with.I know people go on and on about the "G" spot (which probably doesn't exist) but most women just get to know what works for them and they're happy with that. We are all slightly different biologically anyway. No offense but how would you really know about how orgasms actually feel for the woman you're with? You don't have a vagina.If I were you I'd stop focusing on this otherwise you're adding stress to your sex life and pretty soon it will stop being amazing.
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (24 September 2016):
 Put your ego away. Just focus on having fun and having the most amazing sex. For most women it's not about the orgasm but how much fun we have during sex. Few women orgasm during intercourse, they need foreplay, attraction, clitoral stimulation, etc. Just stop thinking about the big O and just about how much fun you will give her and how much you can turn her on..
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