| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Do I expect too much out of life? That's what my mother tells me. All I ask is that I am happy, but it's so hard to get what I want. I can't be content with settling for second best, I know I'm only young but I have no regrets so far, and compared to others my age I have been through so much more, which is perhaps why i want the most out of life. I have been happy with my life before, but only once and only for a few months. I know people who live their lives 'content'. It scares me that people can do that. Am I asking too much of the world? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2006): Life is meant to have difficulties, trials and hardships. With these elements will come pain, suffering, unhappiness and unfullfillment.
But without these necessary elements how could we learn, grow, and know and understand happiness and joy?
Pain is necessary and a part of life. It's going to happen regardless.
You need to remember what is important in life.
There is no perfect anything in this life as the world is full of imperfect beings.
You have faults, flaws, weaknesses just like anyone else. You will disappoint and hurt others wheither you intend to or not intend to.
This is where you need to understand that we are all connected in the sense that we all face similar difficulties, issues, problems and have similar fears and insecurities.
This life is such a short time.
Now focus on all the joys and beauty life has to offer.
You are designed to overcome any hardship that comes in your path. You are designed to learn from it and of it. You are designed to find happiness even in moments of sadness. Happiness is where we seek it.
It sounds like you have a good, wise, and loving Mother and that is such a blessing to have. Aren't you fortunate to have someone special and in your life to guide you and support you.
Second best...life isn't always about winning and losing. It's more about understanding and learning.
You'll eventually get it if it is something you seek for.
Understanding, maturity, perspective comes with time and living in the world and we will never be of an age in this life where we will know all and understand all.
Life is progression. Life is a lifetime of learning.
Take Care Sweetie.
*hugs*
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006): There's nothing wrong with living life in a content way, dear. Most of us live that way. Your Mother knows you best. Do you think she says, "that you expect too much out of life" to buffer you from life's hard knocks and disappointments. She's probably trying to tell you to 'be a success' but keep it in perspective. In other words, stay real and stay positive.
When I read your posting..2 things came to my mind. The words 'high achiever' and 'perfectionist' popped up. Not sure if either one fits the bill for you but I just want to add a few comments about these two things. There's nothing wrong with 'achieving great things in life, just make sure you aren't a perfectionist. Perfectionists tend to be very self-critical and unhappy people, and suffer from low self-esteem. They can also be lonely or isolated, as their critical nature and rigidity can push others away as well, thus the unhappiness. This just leads to lower self-esteem.
Perfectionists see a goal and nothing else. They’re so focused on meeting the goal and avoiding the dreaded failure that they can’t enjoy the process of learning, growing and striving to success. On the other hand, high achievers tend to have equally high esteem and they enjoy the process of chasing a goal as much or more than the actual reaching of the goal itself and are able to bounce back fairly easily from disappointment. Perfectionists don't do well with disappointment. They tend to beat themselves up and dwell on/wallow in negative feelings. Mistakes, oversights and failure is part of life for all of us-that is the human way. Taking responsibility includes more than just acknowledging what happened. Being successful is learning about life through our mistakes and experiences and it includes admitting one's involvement in the failure, and then fixing it, in a positive way.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006):
Man do we need more information! How old are you and can you give of specific examples of where you feel you cant settle for second best?
Is it everything? If I gave you store brand crackers, would that be unacceptable? Do you have to get premium air filters for your car?
If you have standards that preclude you being happy then thats a problem. For instance if you feel you can only date a humanitarian doctor/weightlifter who used to model and only if he is willing to commit to you from day 1... I think that will limit your possibility for happiness.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006): You sound alot like me, and I have been clinically depressed for years...And even though I have alot to show for never being content: I've traveled 9 countries, had anorexia for three years, have been on honor roll all throuought middle school, high shcool and now college, I play classical/jazz guitar, I ski/snoboard, I run cross country, I write daily in a journal, I paint and sell art... and on and on... and I'm still not satisfied with life.Not even close. I'm only 18 too. And I am as well scared how people can be happy sitting and watching tv. When I am not happy with all the things I have been occupied with. What exactly are you asking of the world?What exactly are you "getting second best" with? if it is in terms of love? or work or school? Is it your enviroment? See what I find is that I have been unsatisfied the most in social activities. Your problem might be that there simply isnt anyone to relate to who has the same ambitions or higher thinking- like you. I know, becuase I dont have any friend or family that relate or understand on that level. And that is the most "empty" part of my life, is not having anyone, but Ive had to accept that for quite a long time. If it is in terms of work- you get out of it what you put in... and the rest is up to life. Sometimes is it unfair, and thats when your expierience either has to show itsself, stand up for itsself, or learn to get over it. Its hard to do, but those are the only ways around the angst. It is good though that you don't have regrets- you are a step ahead of most of us.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2006): The world is a hard place but everyone has their time and one day you will be happy with where you're at. Don't worry about thinking you expect so much; a lot of young people do. It's because you are still in school/college/uni and just starting out life; therefore you have no idea how hard it is.
This feeling will fade in time, don't worry about it sweetie. xxx
...............................
|
