A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys,I just got invited to move in with a good female friend of mine of 4 years (Which I have accepted). The thing is that I have had deep feelings for her a long time but she has said many times that nothing would ever happen between us.I have accepted that and moved on, had a relationship that didn't turn out well recently. My friend got involved aswell and made some off comments like "Have I lost weight?" infront of my former girlfriend and I after stating those things above previously which I am heavily confused on. She has said similar things to get my attention but has again recently said that she does not want anything between us. I always will be there for her if I am needed but what can I expect when I move in? We are both really chill with each other, both clean and get along really well.I don't want to do anything that will cause a tension in the friendship nor do I plan on "making moves" with her. What I find difficult is whether I can expect sexual tension or her to redevelop feelings for me after so long?I don't have a problem with it either way but I just want to know what I can expect in this bizarre situation. Thanks and hopefully I can make sense of all this somewhat at least. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012): I am afraid that this is destined to be a waste of your time. Trust me I had a similar relationship that you are discribing and it doesn't end where you hope it will.
My friend and I went on a romantic holiday together to a pacific island and I was left emotional and sexually frustrated by the time the two weeks were up. She is using you to prop herself up and for your friendship.
Personally I would talk to her in no uncertain terms what this would mean for you and if she doesnt feel the same, well then follow the following advice.
Run to the hills. Do not let your hope that something will develope turn into a length of rope to hang yourself.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (17 September 2012):
 I think it's a bad idea too. What if she starts dating someone and you get to watch all the lovey-dovey stuff new couples get up to? It would be very painful to watch, I think.
If you want to date her and she's said "no" in no uncertain terms, ignore the confusing banter. My guess is that she's trying to shore up your ego in front of your ex, I'd do that with a girlfriend too, if she was feeling touchy about seeing an ex. It doesn't mean she secretly wants to be with you, it's a purely supportive girly gesture of friendship.
You're not getting mixed messages, you are reading into things. She's said no, repeatedly, from the sounds of it.
If you invest in this friendship expecting a return of a romantic relationship with you, you are going to be sorely disappointed.
Slow motion disaster in the making, is what this roommate situation is going to be.... don't do it. Sorry.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 September 2012):
 you are not going to be happy living with a woman you want more than a friendship with..
there will be sexual tension...
if she does not see you as a sexual love interest she may not consider that running around her home in jammies or braless or in a tank top and shorts to be exciting for you....
so you may have to deal with her in various stages of undress that will excite you...
I so do not think that moving in with a friend that you want more with than friendship is a good idea.
it's a recipe for heartbreak for you..
...............................
|
