A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My question is, how do I get over the fact that my heart belongs to a lying, cheating, sneaky, manipulator bastard who had sexual intercourses with my younger cousin who is now 21 and pregnant by him supposely? I been knowing this guy for 2yrs now and he just told me last week that they were involved and she's pregnant.
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female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (28 September 2012):
that truly is awful, you dont say if you have kids with him but I will assume you dont, if you dont then you are one lucky woman although you probably dont feel lucky in any way right now. I am sorry for anyone who has to go through betrayal, but cheating with a family member is unforgiveable.
you need to give yourself time, and also try to keep busy doing things you love, that second part is very important. your cousin will regret her actions one day. make sure you tell everyone in the family what they have done, they deserve to know what a rat he is. you deserve better, and it is good you found out now, nut much further down the line. good luck and dont worry you will find someone much better in time.x
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (18 September 2012):
 I am going to agree with "So Very Confused" -- give yourself some time.
There are no magic formulas for getting over the pain other than knowing that you deserve better. You should also take some consolation in knowing what type of "man" your boyfriend is before you took more permanent steps like marriage, engagement, or living together. Expect to be angry and sad for a while but realize that is the price of love and being betrayed.
During this time, realize that everything happens for a reason and that somewhere out there another better man will make his appearance. This man will be honest and trustworthy and won't knock up other women while dedicated to you. He will also make you happy and you'll have someone you can build a dedicated future with. Many people survive awful events like yours and go on to find the loves of their lives.
Hopefully when you feel at your darkest you'll remember that better days are ahead. Hold up your head and realize you didn't do anything wrong...
Good luck and my condolences...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2012): I agree with the 6 week rule SoVeryConfused said. Anything longer than that is unhealthy obsession. I'll be honest about something, though. I think you should feel lucky you found out his true colors when you did. It could have been so much worse. What if you had married this guy, or what if both your cousin AND you were pregnant with his child? Count your blessings that neither of these things happened. You can fully cut contact with him without having to worry about a custody battle or anything. I would also advise you to cut contact with your cousin. She betrayed you even more than he did, because she is a blood relative to you. It's pretty much an unspoken rule that you don't mess with a family member's significant other, or even date them if they already broken up with a family member. I don't get why anyone would think that's okay. They must have no conscience?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 September 2012):
 you just found out last week...give yourself time to heal.
keep telling yourself what a jerk he is... what he did to you was wrong... and sadly your cousin betrayed you as well... a double whammy... ouchies...
it will take time to heal but living well and ignoring him (do go NO CONTACT and delete all his info and block him (email, phone social media) from accessing you at all...
You have my permission to cry and wail and moan and obsess about it for six weeks. after that you must get on with life.
but for six weeks... write long letters you will never send telling him what a piece of cheating scum he is...
eat ice cream
cry
talk to your girlfriends about it all you can
no makeup required for 6 weeks.
only getting up and going to work and going home for six weeks...
after that you will be tired of moaning about the jerk.... and starting to heal... 2 years with him... give yourself at least 3-6 months to heal before you start considering meeting new men....
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