A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi agony aunts, my story stems from when I was 9 years old. I had just freshly moved out of my dad's house to live with my grandmother after him and my mother separated. So I was very bored and had this second world of thought where I usually escaped to.At the age of 9, I would just lay down and imagine myself in this perfect world where I am with a blonde guy named michael darkson, at first I named him michael dasok but finally settled for darkson. I really made this thought so real to myself, my family thought I was going mad because I always talked to an invisible person openly. We had argument like normal people, had sex, etc. I carried on with this act for 5 years before I had my first bf. After my first real relationship ended, I decided I was just childish and was never going to do my world of thought again.I went on and off with this second world of thought for years till I entered the university at 15. Then I started dating in uni and forgot all about it.After university, I became single again, moved out of my dad's house and started this thing again. I really cannot pinpoint the exact problem why I keep on making an in factual world seem real to my self. I saw this Hollywood actor yesterday, boyd holbrook and my michael sorts of looks like him. The scary part is this thing takes most of my time, I don't want to be in a relationship, I feel happy as thought it were real. Am I seeing another universe or its all up in my head. I feel if I didn't stop all these years, I won't stop now. My biological clock is ticking. I have been single for 3 years now doing this thing. And the scary part is I don't touch myself(never have) to gain pleasure. All I do is imagine myself and michael darkson have sex and then I cum (like a lot) in real life.We do everything a normal couple does, have 4 kids, rich only that it's not real. It's all in my head. He is a white guy. I feel as though I will never like any guy(maybe that's why I am single) until I meet someone that looks like him(since I can't reach boyd holbrook; he is in hollywood). Am I going crazy, or just have a severe case of wishful thinking because I am lonely and bored. To me this is the most meaningful relationship I have ever had, with myself. Do people do this. It has gone on for too long for me to take this lightly.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2016): with a wonderful and vivid imagination like your own I would recommend a course in script writing.
It is totally different from writing a book and details where the characters stood and what they say.
You would probably find it a perfect way to bring your character to life and if you get it accepted by a tv or film company who knows what next?
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (30 January 2016):
 Some authors tell the story, by speaking the words and recording what they have to say. It is then typed up and then the editing can begin.
As I recall the lecturers constantly said "show, don't tell" and use the senses of sight, touch, taste, hearing, smell, and feelings when dealing with the issues in the story.
Thus he did not just.. "he walked up the path to her front door"
Instead, "he could smell caramelized onions almost ready on
a BBQ somewhere near. He hoped that meant she might be serving steak. That was a good sign, if she'd remembered how much he loved steak and caramelised onions. he walked up the drive clutching a posy of gardenias. her favourite flowers, though it was coals to Newcastle as he let his hands skim over an overflowing urn of gardenias in flower,
to one side of the path to the front door.
His shoes crunched down on the gravel and he could feel his stomach knot. Would she welcome his return or abandon him again?"
So if you prefer to narrate the story,by talking it out just like the ancient story tellers then that would work too.
On writing, visit your nearest library and see if they have
copy of this classic on writing:
The Writer's Journey: Mythic Structure For Writers is a by writer Christopher Vogler
The librarian will also be able to direct you to the area where some other books on writing and characters etc are stored
there are also many writers group that either meet in person or interact online.
And see if you can find a comprehensive edition of Roget's Thesaurus so that you don't replicate descriptive words over and over again.
I think your story could be amazing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have thought so many times of putting it into creative writing but I am just bad at writing. I am more of an orator. Writing is not my skill. Can I learn how to write because I have often thought of making it into a movie. I know exactly how I want it to begin and end. And one day hopefully if I can, you would all see it on your screens. Thank you for your lovely comments. I thought I was going crazy.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (29 January 2016):
Authors research, but as well as that,a lot of their characters come out of "what if" thinking.
Have you ever considered, as other Aunts suggested, doing a creative writing course and capitalising on your ability to weave stories and characters out of your head? because it's a skill put to good use by many successful authors and creative people.
You've experienced a time when you could walk away from your Michael Darkson. Now he's re-entered your life. You could bring him to life in a journal.
There may come a time when you don't need him any more. Have you considered that you control Michael Darkson's every move. He behaves in any way you need or want.
If you do want to explore counselling that might be a good aspect to explore. As you discover more about what you need and receive from Michael Darkson it will tell you what you need in a life in the future.
your parents breakup was stressful, your life was ripped away and reorganized so that those you thought would always be predictable and available for you had made you question why things had to be as they became.
inventing your friend Michael Darkson introduced some stability and a reliable presence. Michael Darkson was a person who could not walk away from you unless you wanted it to happen.
Now that you have moved out of home you have to make new personal decisions that can be stressful. no wonder Michael Darkson has had to come back into your life.
The Lord of the Rings would not exist if John Ronald Reuel Tolkien had not been able to identify a different world to reality. The world is enriched because he had the skill to bring his thoughts to paper.
Putting Michael Darkson into a book might seem too personal, but you could choose a character who demonstrated some differences to Michael Darkson.
Another outlet for your skills might be to volunteer for a behind the scenes role at a local repertory theatre where amateurs put on a play from time to time. there you could mix with similarly creative people as yourself.
You are indulging in some escapism and it harms no one and gives you some comfort. it is only a problem if it distresses you. if it stops you forming real life relationships - and you want real life relationships - then yes some professional help could help you through the progression.
Be aware though that real people can be unpredictable. a person you trusted can fall out with you, An event you wanted to go smoothly may be disrupted by a person behaving badly.
plenty of creative people walk a different path before they attain success. be they musicians or painters or something similar.
there will come a time when you send Michael Darkson off on a journey. only then will there be an opportunity for you to open the door to a new guy who really can give you 4 beautiful children. that is not being disloyal.
But that can only happen when you feel more secure, safer and open to a new relationship.
you can allow that to happen, if you are ready.
Michael Darkson will cope, because he only
'feels' and responds in ways and situations that you devise.
I hope that you find a loving open minded real man who does not judge and does accept that there have been and still are situations in your life where you appreciate and need the calm loving attention of Michael Markson.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 January 2016):
 I think it's part self defense, part escapism. The turmoil of your parents divorce made you fabricate a fairy-tale romance that you have over time elaborated on to. It's a way to keep yourself in an emotional bubble, so you don't get hurt, but you also don't get to experience all what life has to offer, only what YOU choose to take in.
I understand where you are coming from. Absolutely. It's a GREAT fantasy - but here is the thing, you can't LIVE in fantasy land 24/7 and if you TRY to do it anyway, REAL LIFE will pass you by.
The notion that UNLESS you can date Boyd Holbrook or someone who LOOKS like your Imaginary BF you can never be happy - it's... unrealistic and well, shallow. IF you think that a guys looks is ALL you need to make you happy you are definitely not only in denial but missing the point of what love is. LOVE is not JUST about how your partner looks. A blond guy is NOT the only one who could make you happy. Who know he could be an asshat, but because he is blond it's OK? See what I mean?
Generally, I think having fantasies (sexual or otherwise) are pretty healthy. But when they prevent you from living life to the fullest, they are not so healthy.
It can also JUST be that right now you are NOT ready to date. So why not have an imaginary BF?
Have you ever watched HER, with Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams, Scarlett Johansson? If not, Watch it. Think on it.
I think, you should consider some counseling and maybe, some creative writing. Maybe you can put it in a book form as a for of letting it go. Letting "childhood" go.
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