| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am getting married to a girl who belongs to a small working class family. Whereas i belong to a big extended family of 40-50 people, all of them are business class. We have very different values and mindsets in our family. Especially, people say crap about their own extended family members in my family.In her family, it is something that is not a norm as they have grown as quite an independent unit where people are free to express their views. In my case, it is almost a stigma to do so. As her to be husband, i feel an extremely heavy sense of duty to protect her and feel guilty if i cannot do that. It is as if, i am feel a deep desire to be able to control what other people could speak about her in my presence or absence in society. I know it is not rational and is almost impossible, but i find it hard to accept my limitation in controlling the same. It is as if i would be labelled as a loose man or husband if i cannot do this, as i have observed my mom saying the same to my father who could not stand up to those who said bad things about her. Please advice on what could i do to get over this worry. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (2 June 2007):
 First, you have look at your priorities list.
What stands there above Marriage in your case.
If you believe social gap is unbridgeable, why you marry her.
Then you both decide where you belong after getting married.
Marriage doesn't resolve issues, but priorities change a lot.
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