A
male
age
41-50,
*lack-knight
writes:I am married with two kids. I have been with my wife for 9 years. I am having problems because of PTSD. This point is valid because I love another woman. I have not acted on these feeling and my counselor said that the feelings stem from my history with this other lady. She was my first love. She was always there when we were kids. She has recently come back into my life. I thought all the feelings we had were just kid stuff, but I dont feel that way anymore. I think that she might know. My counselor said that the feelings might be a bi product of the PTSD. I dont feel that close to my wife. I feel as if she really doesnt care about what I am going through and when I talked to the other lady about it she seemed more genuine about her concern. My counselor told me to talk to the other lady of my war experiences and my wife. After I did that I didnt sleep for three days. I worried how my words affected both of them. My wife didnt seem to be too alarmed. The other lady was saddened and felt for me. I felt she wanted to bond. I dont know. I guess I am just rambling like an idiot. I dont know what the hell I will get out of this posting. I dont know. I guess I am just really messed up right now. It dont make sense that I would be married and then have these feelings for another woman. I wish I could kill my emotions. I am always in control of my feelings. My wife cant even get me to break, but the other lady just looks at me and I am vulnerable. She was always able to see right into me with her dark piercing eyes. I know that they say the grass is greener on the other side, but I know that the other lay would have her own set of baggage I would have to deal with so atleast I am not in la la land. I know that any relationship takes work. I guess my question is what should I do about this cluster f**** I find my self in. Any advice no matter how hurtful is welcome. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): Do you love your wife? If the answer is yes then get both of you into counselling as it seems that you have both drifted apart over the years. This other woman as nice as she is, is a threat to your marriage. I dont think that blaming everything on PTSD is right - you are in a rut and you need to get out of it. I can assure you that after 9 years of being with the other woman you would be back where you started, in a rut. Start connecting with your wife to make the marriage work, and dont look towards this other woman.
A
female
reader, Chelz247  +, writes (10 March 2009):
Fisrt of all what your going threw is normal everyone thinks of someone esle every now and then :) What i think you should do is seriously sit with your wife and talk or maybe consealing would help. And for this other girl if you want to save your marriage then i advise you to not see her anymore. Let me know what happened . Wish you the best of luck. xx
...............................
|
