A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for only 1 year and have been in this relationship for almost 7 years. Several months ago i met this guy for several minutes. I found him on myspace through my friends page. Started chatting and now find myself very interested in him. So far i like everything about him. In the meantime i was having some issues with my husband. He wasent showing me any affection, giving me compliments and he has been lacking the I Love You word. Im starting to feel that i am infact not in love with my husband but just comfortable with him being my partner. Where as the other guy makes me feel good about myself and i think about him more than i do of my husband. I've tried to ignore his calls, emails and even deleted him from myspace but i always end up talking to him. I just cant stop it. Any advise??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): Thanks for your advice. I actually removed this other guy from my myspace page and deleted his#. Im hoping this will help my situation. Im giving the marriage all ive got. But i cant live like this for the rest of my life. Now that im older i know what i want and need and so far is not what i have. Again thank you.
A
male
reader, Roswellvato +, writes (3 November 2008):
OK well you have talked to your husband , he changes for a few days and then he is back to his old ways. Well my dear that is a different situation altogether. You really don't have a lot invested in this marriage and thankfully no kids. A good friend of mine was in a similiar situation where her husband who was a trucker would be gone for weeks at a time and when he was home was not attentive, she had cheated with another man back in the eighties. She used to tell me she couldn't take much more of this (they were married 28 years!) 3 kids the youngest 17 and a senior when one day she called me that "I met someone else" "I said who?" she said" a co- worker and we are both getting divorces!" I told her was crazy to give her nice home and security for this guy who was also getting a divorce. Well long story short they both divorced their spouses and moved in together and today are very happy. They make love (according to her) almost daily and are even buying a house together. So yes there is hope for you. I changed my mind on the advice I gave you and go for it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2008): I've read both answers and i understand what i need to do. However, I've spoken to my husband several times about his love towards me and affection. He shows it for a couple of days then it goes back to the same o thing. I feel like i am better of being single and doing my own things. We have no kids and i dont want to get to a point where kids are the reason we are together.
Now with this other guy. I dont know him very well but i do know someone that knows him closely and they tell me great things about him. He has gone through a tough divorce himself. I see him as a very good friend who ive been able to open up to and talk to about my problems. He has done the same and we have been giving eachother advice. I know i need to stop it but i cant. I feel as if i need to meet him officially to see whats really there. Is this a wrong step?
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A
male
reader, Roswellvato +, writes (2 November 2008):
You are asking for trouble if you continue this tryst with another man. Have an honest talk (do not tell him about being interested in another man!) with your husband and discuss what you want ie; be more attentive, more loving whatever you want to tell him. Just remember that marriage is a 2 way street and he might ask you of certain things sexually as well. Just consider them and if they aren't painful and go outside of your marriage go for it.Now back to this guy. When a man is courting a woman he is on his best behavior and will tell her want she wants to hear. If he knows you are married some guys but not most will stop. More than likely he just wants to get into your pants and nothing more. You say you end up talking to him. He has your phone number and it is only a matter of time before your husband finds out about this. If you want to stay married change your number and especially your behavior. Most guys that after a married woman only want sex and that is it. he may be attentive to your wants and desires but the bottom line is this: He just wants in your pants so end this or you will lose the man you married.
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A
female
reader, Cheater32 +, writes (2 November 2008):
 Wow I can give you some serious Advice on this one. I have been married for 14 years and I started and affair it has been going on for 2 years. I am trying to get out of it. I realize that my husband is my life and my kids we have 4 of them. If they knew about this affair it would shatter there world and what we have build for them. Please if you love you're husband at all and see your life with him. DONT DO IT. It will be so hard to get out of. To make it worse i work with this man. Please talk and feel free to email me. I hope I have helped you even a little.
Take care
Stay Strong!
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