A
female
age
36-40,
*imesmith
writes:I feel like my boyfriend does not have time for me anymore an am not sure of what to do!Basically there is a culture clash and his parents want him to have an arranged marriages which he has refused to do as he is with me But I feel like everything else comes before me and I am last priorityWhen ever we both have a weekend off together he would rather go to the gym or has a family party to go to which I am never invited to We don't live together either! So it's not like we see much of eachother. It's really getting me down now and I feel like we should call it a day as I know for a fact his family will never accept me and obviously they will always come before me :( Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (24 June 2016):
 Don't EVER let a guy be your PRIORITY, whilest you are one of HIS "OPTIONS"........
Good luck...
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 June 2016):
 He has a dealbreaking family baggage, and has let you know that you are Ms. Right Now. Basically, you are the receptacle of his Wild Oats until he tires of you and accepts the arranged marriage. Otherwise, he would bring you to his parents and make the official declaration that he's marrying you, or even that he officially rejects his parents' role in his partnership choice.
The fact that he has a family party to go to means that ultimately and finally, he will choose them over you in regards to his future. His brain may be churning as to how to keep you on as a mistress or concubine sort of situation while he marries to satisfy his family's cultural demands. But are you really going to value yourself like that?
It wouldn't even matter if he were spending every waking moment for you. He's emotionally disconnecting from you because he already knows that you are not his future, and you are starting to see that as well. He hasn't broken up with you because he's a coward and wants you to do it for him, making you look like the bad guy here.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 June 2016):
I think, and I don't mean that in a frivolous sense, that you are wasting your time with him.
YOU are his excuse to NOT marry whom the family wants him to marry... for now. But he hasn't fully committed to you either, because he knows his family won't accept him marrying you, yet they don't want to try and force a wife on him who would have to deal with him having an English mistress too.
The little "free" time you both have, HE chooses to spend AWAY from you. He knows FULL well that you can't go to the family parties.
Seem to me, he is stringing you along to avoid having to marry a woman his parents pick out.
Though, I DO see going to the gym on the week-end makes sense, but.... most people CAN manage to go to the gym for 1-3 hours and then spend the REST of the day with their partner.
I think you need to decide if you feel you get what you need/want out of this relationship or not.
I think most people spend MORE time together the longer they have dated, no less.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2016): Do what's best for yourself. Why clash with family? He's seeing less of you to please them! If you feel like the last item on the list, you remove yourself. You mustn't allow anyone make you feel unimportant to them. If you feel you are, you are.
If a man cares for you, he'll protect you and he would never go anyplace you weren't invited too. You're his girlfriend.
My question is, if you know you'll never be accepted by his family and he neglects you, why are you still with him?
So, time to make some decisions. You're not happy.
Now what?
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