A
female
age
41-50,
*aisyduck
writes:I'm a married woman of 6 months only. I met my husband 5 years ago and we've had a great time sexually and in general and I do love him. However recently for some reason I have been thinking of other men and the idea of having sex with them. The reason for this is that my husband has been the only person I have had sex with where he has been with others. One of these women I have to see often which I hate.... I feel I am missing out or having lived in way he and others have.......
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, maria14r  +, writes (12 April 2007):
i believe that your thinking twice about your marriage with this man. since he cheated on you, you cant stop thinking about that especially if you have to see one of those girls all the time. that is always going to be on your mind. you want to try different men to see which one is the right one. you should go for it.
A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (12 April 2007):
 This is a case of too little too late.
The time to think about these things is BEFORE you get married, not after.
So now what are your alternatives?
Well, first of course there's the possibility of cheating on your husband. Millions of women do it every day. I didn't say it was a GOOD alternative, but it is an alternative. It runs the risk of ruining your marriage. But a good marriage is based on trust, and once you betray that trust it's something you'll never be able to recapture. You know what sex with one man is like. Are you willing to risk your marriage to find out what sex with another one is like?
There is another variation on this that works for some couples. That is the possibility of going to your husband, explaining your feelings, and asking for his permission to have a brief affair with another man to satisfy your curiosity about what sex with another man would be like. If you reassure him that you do not mean it as any sort of a threat to your marriage, there is a possibility that he might agree to it. You would also have to convince him that you would never consider doing that without his permission. Of course, it is possible (even likely) that he would not agree, and that he would be hurt by the suggestion. But once again it is a possibility.
Finally, of course, there is the possibility of forgetting about taking any action on this at all. That's probably the best option. It is the most likely to preserve your self respect and your marriage. And who knows, it might not mean that you NEVER get to know what making love to another man is like. Statistically it is likely that you will outlive your husband. I had an affair a year or so ago with a woman who had married her husband and had never had sex with anyone before him. He died, and now she was making up for lost time. I think I was her fourth lover in the two years since he died.
So think it over. In the end, you have to live with whatever you decide. All we can do is offer suggestions.
And good luck, whatever you decide to do.
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