A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 17 and I have been with my boyfriend (20) for over a year. His sister is my age and she has hated me ever since we started dating. His sister and I used to go in the same school (now I'm not going to school because I can't afford it, my father lost his job and private schools are very expensive in my country, and no public schools will accept me without papers from my previous school and they won't give them to me because we didn't pay. my country just works that way..). She would spread rumors about me, made me lose a lot of friends, spread a rumor of me being a lesbian and only being with her brother because I like her and it's a way of getting closer to her (what the hell?).I told my parents. She claimed we were supposedly found us having sex, etc. So my relationship with her isn't exactly good. I have tried patching things up with her, she needed a camera last week and I lent her mine, I used to help her out with her homework, etc. (in other words, I am trying to be mature about it and be nice to her even thought I quite honestly hate her).My boyfriend and I are going through some extremely hard times. His father died about two years ago and his mother became addicted to pills. Last Saturday his mother went into rehab. My father left us recently without any money and the whole not-being-able-to-go-to-school thing is also hard (that's why I pointed it out at the beginning of my story).I don't know if what I'm going through has something to do with me getting so jealous. I need my boyfriend more than I have ever needed him and even though I try to understand he is having problems too. I'm having a hard time dealing with the following:I feel extremely jealous of his sister because due to the fact that they are living alone, they are doing everything together. They spend time together, cook together, etc (in other words, everything I have always wished I could do with him). I barely see him anymore because he doesn't want to leave his sister alone in their house, so we only see each other when she goes out and the few hours a week we spend together she calls him.Am I being too immature? I mean, I know there's nothing incestuous going on between them or anything, but I get jealous of the fact that he gets to do everything I wish I did with him, with another girl, blood-related or not. I am also jealous of the amount of time he no longer spends with me because of her. I know I should try and be supportive. Am I out of my mind? Any advice here would be great!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 October 2011):
 You need to tell him how you feel. The both of you have some serious issues between the both of you, and as much as you want him there for you, I guess he feels that he needs to be there for his sister. I understand that you are going through a rough time and you want your boyfriend there by your side. That is completely normal, but at the end of the day it is his baby sister and he is trying to protect her. They have pretty much lost one parent and the other has went off now as well, its a good thing she is wanting to get clean but it must be very hard on the both of them. You need to talk to your boyfriend, tell him you miss him and ask him can you both spend more quality time together. You have tried with his sister which was you being the bigger person so well done. If he doesn't want to leave her on her own in the house well try and compromise. Maybe you could go over there and you and him could go in to another room to spend some quality time together. Maybe even try and talk to the sister and ask her why she said those things about you and just ask her straight out is she prepared to patch things up and get along for her brothers sake.
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