A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Lately I've become quite close to a guy who is almost 11 years older than me (I'm 19, he's 30). We started out as acquaintances but after knowing him for almost 5 years we're now very good friends. We have long conversations about anything at all (from the trivial to the deep) and laugh a lot whenever we're together. We have quite a lot in common. I'm attracted to him and I can't help but think the feeling is mutual but I'm afraid he would never make a move on me because he might be worried about the age difference and he's a naturally reserved person. We've never discussed having a relationship, I'm afraid to bring it up in case he just views me as a friend (or worse, a younger sister!) and this might ruin the friendship.How do you think I should approach this issue? How could I discreetly let him know I'm fine with the age difference and would be willing to try a relationship? Or do you think the age difference is insurmountable?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you angelDlite and littlediva, especially for putting my mind at rest that the age difference isn't too great that it would make a relationship out of the question.I think I'll wait it out a little while longer so as not to ruin the friendship and try to follow angelDlite's advice, so as not to risk the friendship. I don't have a mutual friend that I trust enough not to just go blurt out everything to him... Our mutual friends are more like acquaintances, who are closer to him than me.Thanks x
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (12 June 2011):
 the age difference is not really that much, if you are capable of being in a good friendship to each other and be able to talk about anything and everything. if you have the same outlook on life and share many beliefs and opinions, then you two are proof that 'age is just a number'
if you are afraid that he may not feel the same way as you do, just keep your feelings to yourself a while longer and see does he show any signs of being attracted to you as more than a friend. in the meantime, be a bit more touchy feely with him and make a habit of sitting close to him and holding his gaze a little longer than you need to, also make an effort with your appearance whenever you are seeing him. these are all signs that you are attracted to him, without you having to actually SAY IT.
be careful though, if you take this friendship to another level and things don't work out between you, you will probably never get the friendship back again, the same way. so you need to have a good think about if it is worth pursuing this and maybe in the end losing him as a friend
x
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A
female
reader, littlediva +, writes (12 June 2011):
 hes 10 years older than you but you are both adults! and in my experience men mature so much later in life anyway so in his head hes still in his twenties anyway! If I were you I'd get a confide in someone you can trust ideally a mutual friend who can find out for you if hes interested - without telling him know you had put him/her up to it! if it comes back that hes interested then go for it and tell him how you feel. If he doesnt see you in that way then don't risk spoiling a friendship it isnt worth it. good luck hope it works out for you x
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