A
female
age
30-35,
*skRosie
writes:This may sound really stupid, but everytime my sister comes back from uni, I feel rejected. I can't help it, it feels that she's all my parents care for, along with my brother, and I am pushed out. My parents have a go at me a lot more, I've tried telling them how I feel, but I feel as though they've barely listened to what i've got to say. I'm seen as the invisible one to them, it's like I don't mean anything to them, that I'm second-best to her, and they make me feel as though I've got to be her, I hate that feeling- they've told me that this isn't true, but I am convinced it is. My Dad expects me to be as good as her, and identical to her, when I'm not. They always do everything for her, and I'm treated like I'm a total retard- nothing I do is ever good enough, and they're always taking the mick out of me, and not my sister or my twin brother. I'm not trying to be an attention seeker, but I feel that they leave me out. I've never felt welcomed or loved in this family, and being an IVF twin, my mum always used to joke "buy one get one free", but I'm not so sure that she was joking. They make me feel so insecure. What can I do to stop feeling this way? I feel so alone, please help!
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female
reader, Little tiny girl  +, writes (13 June 2011):
 I think you should talk to them more. If I was you, I would talk and tell them, they treat your sis better than they treat you. Say that your here in their lives and you need their support also. And if they say it isn't true, tell them to stop lying to you. Tell them you feel like you don't exsist to them. Say "Since you guys are so happy that my sis is so succeful of her life, why can't you notice that i'm starting my life and here and I would need your help and notice me" I don't like favoritizsm, I hope this will help you with this problem. :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2011): Hi
I can understand and can advise you because i have experienced sibling rivalry and know only too well what a bad situation you are ALL in. However i will say that i was on the other side of it(UNKNOWN). I am not going to say you are wrong but going to try and make you see a little futher ahead of how damaging sibling rivalary can be if it is not dealt with early. I will try and make it very short.
I never knew how my sister really felt,but i knew something was growing inside her against me yet i had done nothing wrong and could not understand. To discover my sister secretly disliked me and was jealous (for no good reason), especially because i looked up to my big sister so much, was a shock. The rivalry grew into jealousy resentment then hate from her. We had such a big bust up and wasted five years. It spread like cancer through out the whole family causing other fall out's that are still unresolved and may go to the grave unresolved. I did make up with my sister but it was so hard to trust her again after knowing i was secretly her enemy for god knows how long.... when i thought she was my sister. :(
I am not trivialising how you feel because obviously their is some root cause that has triggered this in you...but be very careful not to BLAME the wrong person i.e your sister because before you know it it can turn into something ugly.
Maybe you could look in a similar way at your family
We were loved as four different siblings with four different wants and four different needs and times, four different insecurities, but loved as one.
I think the path could go like this if you don't sort it out WHY YOU feel the way YOU do...because this is about you.
From you feeling insecure it can grow into /jealousy/competition/resentment/hate/revenge/fall out/family affected/
So destructive sibling rivalry but at least you recognise what you are going through...find the root.
My best advice is talk and be open to your sister and work together not against each other, tell HER how you feel.
Good luck.
Spunky monkey.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2011): hi ther, i felt the same when i lived with my mum and sister....my sister is younger than me, and she was always getting all attention and everything that is the best. It is really annoying, and i know what you are passing through...just try and be strong, you will soon leave your parents and start your own life. I know how it feels to be rejected.I am sorry to hear that
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