A
male
age
36-40,
*altazar
writes:Please don't be upset with me as I know how it looks and seems but I'm really confused. I'm a 31 year old male (Jan.) and I've been single since the summer of last year. Just recently during the holidays I have been spending a lot of time with my family visiting the same ones from thanksgiving through New Years. During the time the same family friends visit them too and we all get along really well. There is a girl almost all the family friends that always showed up as well and that's were this all begun. Well she's really cute and down to earth but any contact I've been having with her I always tried to keep modest and well, just friendly. We've made eye contact a few times and I've made her laugh plenty of times just good normal stuff. The problem is that well, she's only 21. I honestly did not want to even think about her in that way but, we've had moments were we can both feel the attraction and I'm really confused. Should I even think about starting something? Should I just move along? A little more info is that her parents and my parents are the best of friends and everything just falls into place with everything else that it almost feels like we were made for each other. Any tips for me? Is the 10 year age difference just too much ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (7 March 2016):
Firstly it's legal for you to date...lol so technically you can date each other. However will the family be happy about it? If you split up will you still be friends with everyone like before? Therein lies a potential problem.
However if the family is OK about it, you have the age gap to worry about. Yes, there may be a physical attraction but what about emotional and mental compatability? Is she mature enough for you? I'm 31 and would'nt date anyone 10yrs younger because of their lack of life experience and immaturity. But...there are some 21 year olds who have all of the above. Yes they are indeed! Is she one of them though?
I've always dated older men 10 or more years older than me, I still do. I find because of my personality, intelligence and life experiences, older men are suitable for me and very attracted to me. Not just for my looks. Guys my age can't relate to me despite being of the same age. One thing I frequently face though even today, is older men underestimating me.
By that I mean they take one look at me and wonder if I'm immature, have daddy issues, a gold digger, interested in older men out of curiosity. None of this is true as they soon find out and often they are impressed by me. I feel like I can emotionally support an older man and be the equal partner he needs.
Can this girl do that for you? There's only one way to find out. If you really like her...ask her out! But bear in mind what I've said. My advice comes from experience with age gap dating that can be fulfilling when you find a suitable partner. Good luck!
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 February 2016):
 You wouldn't be doing anything wrong, as she is an adult. However you should really think this through first. Both your parents are close, so if you both don't work out, this could cause a lot of bother in there friendship. Also I know age is only a number, but at the tender age of 21 she may not want to settle down, she may have a lot of plans first.
If you are willing to take all the risks then go for it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 February 2016):
 She's an adult and you are an adult. Only time can tell if the relationship will work.
Ten years with the man older is much more acceptable than my husband being 13 years younger than I am.
I suggest you ask the young lady out for coffee and to discuss how SHE feels about it. IF you are both in agreement that you want to give it a shot go for it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2016): I have been in your shoes. People will more or less be okay with it as long as the relationship goes well. But if she ends up heartbroken then it will be all your fault for taking advantage of her. She gets a lot of credit if it works, you get the blame if it does not.
I will tell you one thing - With both of your parents being this close, you would be playing with fire even if you & her were both the same age.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2016): Age differences can make things harder, but they are by no means impossible. My grandparents on my mother's side were about 11 Years apart and they were together for 40 or so years, when my grandfather died of cancer.You are both legal adults, what I or anyone else says or thinks means nothing. If you both talk about it and want to see where it goes, what is stopping you?
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