A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I know her for years as she is in the long term relationship – 5 years - with my brother. I am in my late 20’s and they are both (my brother and his girlfriend) in their middle 20’s. My brother’s girlfriend and I have some strange desire, and although I am into this flirting, I am aware of consequences if something happen out of this. What’s the worst, my fiancé has notice what is going on and she is freaking out. My girlfriend is extremely smart and intuitive, and I couldn’t believe she notice it instantly as no one else does for years. She said it is because no one would have a thought in the head that someone in the family would do such things or behave in such manner to the other member, and she told me that what I’m doing is the lowest that anyone could do, calling also my brother’s girlfriend with the worst names. We had fights and I told her she is crazy and that she is imagining such things, although that’s not true. I am totally obsessed with my brother’s girlfriend and she is into me totally, although she is doing this flirting so much better then I. Once, when I was out with my girlfriend, my brother and her girlfriend was in same night club as us, and they just gave us a brief hello and went couple of tables away from us. My brother’s girlfriend has set on the site where I can see her clearly (she always does that) and I couldn’t force myself not to stare even for a few seconds from time to time and exchange eyes with her. Of course, my fiancé notice that, and she made some remark on my behavior, telling me if I don’t stop flirting, she will break her nose and leave me explain to my brother why she did what she did. I really love my fiance and she is better looking and smarter than the girlfriend of my brother, but this one tempts me for years and I can see in her eyes she wants’ me. What happen is that my fiance said she’s going to the toilet and as soon she starts to walk away, my brother’s girlfriend has just appeared next to me, putting her cheek on mine to talk to me on the ear (as the music was loud) and pressing her body next to mine. I didn’t hear what she said, I just felt her body on mine, her hand grabbing my waist but I saw my fiance turning her body and head in our direction (she gave up to go to toilet as it was too crowded) and I saw the despise in her eyes the moment she saw us. My brother’s girlfriend probably saw the same as she moved away from me the second she saw that my fiance saw us, and she had just run fast to my fiance, hug her for a second, smile to her and disappear in the crowd. My fiance was so mad and she said she couldn’t believe how nasty that girl is. I have terrible fights with my girlfriend over this girl and I’m a bit worried that she could actually do or say something to my brother or my brother’s girlfriend and leave me. I love my girlfriend but I always had an intense fantasy, flirting and “unintentional” touching with my brother’s girlfriend. She wants’ me and I can see that. What to do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2012): Go test the fantasy and watch everything fade away..your broher.. your woman..your desire....when you have it you'll long for what's gone. I'd punch her lights out as well..and your's.
spunky monkey
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2012): My advice is when in that situation like last night, all you need to do is move away, or say politely "excuse me but could you move from in front of me". Seriously 10 minutes and it didn't occur you to move, if my boyfriend did that I would be pissed and consider breaking up with him too. It's simple, when your brother's girlfriend does things like this take yourself away from the situation. You could simply talk to her and tell her that your uncomfortable with these things happening and would appreciate if she would stop. The fact is that you are going to lose your girlfriend if this behaviour doesn't stop, so you need to stop it and start showing respect to your girlfriend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for the quick answers and advices!! I agree with all of you and I think the same, but it's so weird, even for me and I'm involved in this, to understand how and why is this happening. My brother's girlfriend had gone a bit more far last night. My fiance and I were on the family reunion and she was sitting right next to me, when my brother's girlfriend arrived and stand just in front of me. As I was sitting on the chair, she came close to my legs and push her leg on mine, like it's totally unintentional. I was stunted and my fiancee saw that as she was sitting right next to me. She was so surprised and I felt her eyes were shooting me in the head. I didn't move, and she stayed like that for about ten minutes moving up and down my leg. When we left, my fiancee was so mad at me as I didn't move or done anything and we had a huge fight again. I understand that she is right and that all of you are right, but I'm so confused and I don't know what to do exactly. My brother and his girlfriend are going to get married soon, and my fiancee told me that she is having second thoughts about us getting married, as she feel intoxicated with everything she saw and she don't want to observe this flirtation for the rest of our life. My fiance have like some sensors inside every time my brother's girlfriend is near, and she somehow pick up almost everything she do. And she is the only one that actually had notice this ever!! For example, after this leg touching, my boyfriend's brother has passed right next to us at the end of the evening, not even saying good buy to us, and when she was walking out she turned (I was faced to the door and my fiancee was faced to me with her back to the door) and gave me a big smile. My fiancee just turned her head to the door in that second when my brother's fiancee was turning back to give me a smile and she saw that. She was furious as she is totally disgusted with a behavior of my brother's girlfriend, and I see she is in total emotional mess. I'm aware i am guilt the same as it came to this point, and I don't know what to do. My brother is a great guy and I believe I am strong enough to never betray him literally in such a nasty manner to actually have sex with his girlfriend, but I do admit I did flirt with her and saw all those signals she is sending. My family loves my brother's girlfriend as she is happy and positive girl and she will for sure become my sister in low, but I do not see that she will stop flirting with me and on purpose annoy my fiancee. And my fiancee is seriously thinking to say ether something to her or to my brother, although she don't want to be the one to say such things and cause a problem in our family. And I also notice that my brother's girlfriend doesn't like to much my fiance (she notice too) although she is always nice to her and actually act a bit strange when she walked to us to say hi, she just give me hand and say short hi and then start a conversation with my fiancee. My fiancee is very cool and she always play her game, but I guess that my brother's girlfriend is a bit scared of her, she always give her compliment's about her cloths or hair, and I'm sure she knows that my fiancee knows about her behavior although she doesn't show that even for a second. My fiancee is very proud, extremely pretty and frightfully smart and intuitive, and I really don't want to be the cause of her nightmares anymore. How to act from now on with my brother's girlfriend?? She is fast and she do stuff so suddenly that I'm involved in it before I even know it. My fiancee is soo pissed and she say that the worst hing is that all the stuff she saw can make her just look crazy if she say something to someone as they can be interpreted as totally innocent although they are not. How to fix things please, I don't want my fiancee to suffer any more or leave me because I acted like an idiot??? Thank you so much for advices guys!
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A
female
reader, bluebelleyes  +, writes (6 March 2012):
Do not leave the one you love for the one you lust for, for the one you lust for will leave you for the one they love.
Being a woman, it's not hard to see that this girl is a snake. She craves your attention, and thrives off the fact that you're giving it to her. If you ignore a snake, they'll eventually give up.
We ALL get fantasies, we can all relate to the temptation, But the only morally acceptable option is to start saying no.
How do you say no? Anytime thoughts of her come into your head you cast them away. Of course it's hard. But a strong man says no, and a weak man says yes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2012): Firstly, your girlfriend is right your brother's girlfriend in nasty, and flirting with your brother's girlfriend is a very low act. You are both disrespecting your brother and your girlfriend.
Here are your 2 options, stay away from your brother's girl, stop thinking about her in this way, and respect that you have a girlfriend and should not be acting this way, and that she is your brother's girlfriend and out of respect for him neither of you should be doing this.
Or you can keep going lose your girlfriend, have your brother find out that you do not respect him (you wouldn't do it if you did) lose his trust, break his heart and live with the fact that you have torn your entire family apart, and that the trust and closeness you have with him and your family cannot be rebuilt after a betrayal like this.
What you will do is up to you, but what you should do is respect your brother, respect your girlfriend and respect your family, and stay away from your brother's girlfriend as much as possible and when she is around, DO NOT act the way you have been. Good Luck
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