A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am in love with two men. have been in love with the guy I thought was the one for six years, he lives in another country and wants me to move there and that is the main issue or was. He got fed up and cheated two years ago, and I loved him so much I didn't want to stop seeing him but part of what I had for him was gone. Two years on I was looking for a way to get over him and I met someone new.The thing is the first guy I loved so strongly it's hard for me. He is the one I want to call if I have something funny, I cry if I think it's over, he has been my best friend and my lover and also I have a thing where I am on and off at wanting to be intimate but always wanted it with him.I've always been a one guy girl but I find it hard to let go of this guy. Everyone tells me he is bad for me, controlling... I miss him like crazy though. At one point I decided I was going to love him unconditionally, and I do, but it also can hurt.The main problem in that relationship was that he hurt me badly, and I couldn't let go but at the same time couldn't commit to moving to a new country with the problems we have.The new guy I met when I was trying to break up with the long term guy. He loves me alot, and I'm falling in love with him. He makes me feel like a princess and he loves to do things for me. In some ways we are less compatible, we don't like the same movies, I don't always feel like being intimate with him, sometimes what he says about other people is very harsh but he is kind to me. We have been together for 6 months. I am finding it hard to go to either of them, this is it! I don't want to see you anymore. The first guy I love really deeply it hurts so bad to think of being without him but it never resolves where we can be together, we are apart months at a time. He thinks I can just move over with no money and no job and I worry we might get rocky again. He had another girl for 4 months and he called me up while he was with her.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 January 2010):
I don't think either of these men are right for you. I think if you can't choose, then you don't love either of them strongly enough. And please, whatever you do don't for the cheating controlling one.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): neither! If it takes this much consideration, to decide which one to keep than you don't truly love either of them!
True love is unmistaken, if either of them were meant for you, you would know.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso, after cheating we got back together and since then it had been wonderful actually. We made up and we spent more time together and no more fighting but the past has stopped me from leaving my country for him.
I only looked at another guy because I wasn't sure if I could, if I ever would like anyone else. I didn't think it was possible for 6 years I have been crazy about one man. Then it developed and it just confuses me. I don't want to step out of one relationship and have the same problems in the next one and I love them both now. People say follow your heart but my heart doesn't want to lose either of them, if anything I would stay with the longer term boyfriend for the way I feel about him but ultimately I think he is bad for me.
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