I am in love with this guy and have been dying to have him back ever since we split. I'm not sure how he feels based on the conversation we had. And insight? I don't know what to do next?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor

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Question - (21 August 2008)

1 Answers - (Newest, 21 August 2008)

A female age 41-50, *ags122289 writes:

Hello,

I am 27 yrs old and my BF of 2.5 years broke up with me in June. I decided that if he were really giviing up on our realtiohsip that it would be best that he not contact me ever. We had been having some trouble since the start of the year. Basically he was unsure what he wanted and what made him happy and pulled away trying to figure it out. Between Jan and June there was a lot of push and pull. I'd try to tell him what I need from him to continue and he would tell me he couldn't provide it at the time. But niether of us could walk away as we loved each other so much. There was a huge communication breakdown. Until finally, we agreed to end things and we didn't speak for 2 months until today.

Recently while on match.com (my attempt to get over him) I noticed that he had viewed my profile and marked me as a favorite. I sent him a quick email just saying, "isn't match.com for meeting new people, not old?" I didn't get a reply, but messaged him and we had the following conversation:

me: Hey there, how have you been?

Him: Hey, I'm hanging in there. How about you?

Are you enjoying the summer? I got your email. wasn't sure the best way to respond... over email, phone, etc.

I saw your pic online when I logged on for the first time in a while, hence the "favorite"

me: I'm doing well. Summer has been fun. I'm sad that its coming to a quick end. oh, I was under the impression you had to add someone a favorite specifically. No big deal, I just saw it and thought I should say hi anyway

Him: yeah, well I did click favorite so I could keep find you easy. I've wanted to call every once in a while over the past few months but didn't think it was right to do so

me: ok, because I had asked you not to?

Him: yeah, pretty much. But I just want to know you're doing okay, happy, etc.

as much as you think I'm a jerk I do care about you

me: I care about you too, and I've wanted to call sometimes as well to see how you are. I guess never wanting to be the girl calling her ex-bf when he's with someone else kept me from picking up the phone. I just don't want to be that person calling, you know?

Him: well, for what its worth, I'm not with someone else

me: I have no way of knowing that. I'm just saying that assuming you were, I'd hate to be the ex calling, and that kept me from picking up the phone.

Him: well, you can always call me as I am always here for you. I just felt like initially we needed the separation given what we were going through

you needed things to be different, I couldn't do that and, as such, we needed to put some distance from one another

me: I understand that that is how you feel

Him: well, if you ever want to talk, pleas free to call me. You shouldn't feel like you'd be bothering me as I genuinely want to know what's new with you, how you're doing, etc.

me: do you like the distance though?

Him: Like would not really be the operative word. I think its been needed though. Sort of need to figure out what I am looking for, what makes me happy, and ultimately what's important. I think I'm startting to get some perspective on that