A
male
age
22-25,
*000mm55
writes:I just wanna let u know I’m 17 and my cousin she’s 27! I know this is going to sound like a very crazy story and looking at the ages I know. Me and my cousin love to mess with each other it’s our??? thing! As time went I had feelings for her and couldn’t get her out of my mind! We are very very close, she told me about her ex and I was there for her and I told her about my ex and she did the same for me! I know I can’t be with her, which makes me very sad! All I want is to kiss her on the lips or to have sex with her! She’s very beautiful and has a gorgeous body! I just wanna kiss her one time or have sex with her one time so my feelings for her can finally go away! Any advice in how to get her to wanna to that with me? I mean we do flirt with each other sometimes when we joke around with each other like normal couples would do! Btw we are Islam so it’s ok to be with your cousin and stuff! And also she gives amazing advice for me because she is still in college and has a lot of work and she always tells me and she freaks about her test and has the freak out problems and I always calm her down let her know she’s the smartest person I know and she can do it! Please I need help she’s so beautiful and can’t get her out of my mind! If we can’t have sex or kiss, is it possible we can just touch eachother? Thanks.
View related questions:
cousin, flirt, her ex, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2019): I really do not care about the claim thing because I know a few cousins who are married and they are not Muslim at all.What does make me wonder is how old you were when this all began.As you are only 17 now.To me it seems like she is a sexual preditor.If it started when you were much younger than she is a pedofile.She grommed you for years to get what she wants and that is sick.If the sexes were reversed everyone would be yelling from the rooftops to call the police.You are not her lover you are her victim.If this started when you were a child report her.She will do it to someone else as studies have shown people that are like this do not stop.You may think you are lucky but in reality she is messing with your mind.Get a therapist...You really need one. This is not your fault.Do not let her reign of abuse continue.She will do it again to another child.Stand up for yourself for once in your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2019): I have read, as well have been told by friends of mine who are Arabic and Islamic, that first cousins can marry. I will assume you are of Arabic or Middle-eastern heritage. Americans practicing the Islamic faith frown on first-cousins marrying, and see it more or less as taboo.
I was also informed that sex is strictly forbidden before marriage. My sister was a virgin when she married my Iranian (Persian) brother-in-law. He was Muslim prior to their marriage. She is a Christian, now deceased. They did not have sex prior to marriage; nor did they ever live together. He at that time was very strict about his religion; and she was even more strict about her chastity as a Christian woman. Once he even told me how seriously the Koran forbids premarital-sex; but he says they're even harder on promiscuity in females.
He said he would not have married my sister if she wasn't a virgin!
Well, my response was she wouldn't have had sex with him if he wanted to! That's how she rolls!
You're a teenage-boy chocked full of hormones and every pretty-girl will turn you on. If one gets too close, you'll develop a crush or get horny.
It's really not appropriate to always think sexually towards your relatives, or lust after every girl you're around. You're given a pass for your age; but there is a point you should control yourself for the sake of decency and respect. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you have to behave like you can't control yourself around females.
That is, if you follow the teachings of the Koran; and listen to your imam, when he preaches about abstinence. Besides, marriages between cousins are usually by an arranged-marriage. An older-female enticing some horny kid lusting after his cousin! Totally different kiddo!
Your age difference will not likely allow for marriage. It's probably the most remote thing from her mind anyway! It would have to get past your parents first. Your fathers on both sides will assume their roles as head of the family; and would lob your head off! Figuratively-speaking! She might even be shunned. You both better be careful, depending on how strict your parents are in the faith. My friend from Kuwait is finishing-up his graduate studies in engineering here in the States. All the other Kuwaiti students keep a close eye on each other and even report back to their families back home! They all have family or neighborly connections in Kuwait. Same happens with the Saudi students.
If you mess around, and she gets pregnant. You both will have very serious problems throughout your family.
Keep it in your pants, and behave like a gentleman. If she's teasing or enticing you; then eventually she will bring down some very serious admonishment from the religious-community as well as the family. It's not as casual and acceptable as you're trying to make of it. Students get a little wild, because they're attending college away from their parents; but they know their parents better not find-out!
You both better cool-it! You're playing with fire. Your head is just lit-up about sex. You're immature, but she knows better!
You're not in-love. You're horny! Try and control yourself.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 June 2019):
 Being Muslim doesn't make it OK to be with your cousin. It's OK to MARRY your cousin. Which is a WHOLE other thing.
You think having sex with her once will somehow make you not want it anymore... which isn't realistic.
And NO ONE here can give YOU permission to sleep with or touch your cousin. Only she can. You might be fun to tease and have banter with, but I don't think it's likely that a 27 year old WOMAN wants to be her "baby"-cousin's sexual guinea pig.
Maybe you should have this conversation with your parents?
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (23 June 2019):
 You're just hormonal, OP. Sex and kisses don't make feelings go away; they make them stronger.
You can't be with her, so you move on like you would if it was any other girl, with the addition of reminding yourself that she's family and off-limits.
OP, can you imagine how upset she'd be if she knew her baby cousin was thinking about her sexually? Even many Islamic women would be uncomfortable with it - just because it's allowed doesn't mean they want it.
You're not in love; you're just attracted to her and your hormones want sex. You don't NEED sex and you definitely don't need to touch her. It will likely break your family apart if you don't control yourself and get over this soon.
Don't talk about relationships with her any more. Don't be alone together any more. Don't look at her lips or body any more. Don't let yourself fantasise about her any more. Don't let yourself hope for touching, kisses or sex with her. Don't keep flirting (for all you know, she's not flirting and you just think it is because you have a physical crush on her).
You can't MAKE her want to kiss or have sex with her cousin. You can't MAKE her want to kiss or have sex with a 17 year old hormonal boy.
Leave her alone, OP. She's way too old for you and is highly unlikely to find it anything other than creepy that you keep wanting to have sex with her. Your hormones are normal, but you can still control what you think about.
...............................
|
