A
female
age
41-50,
*anting him back
writes: What am I doing??? My husband and I are going through a divorce. It will be final in about 2 weeks. We have been seperated for about 5 months. For the first 3 months I begged and begged him to come home. We were very back and forth. I did go out with two men. Slept with them both. Then slept with another guy, just because. One of the two men that I went out with I went back a couple of times to just for sex. I wasnt realy interested in either of them. I still wanted my husband back. Then I started talking to an exboyfriend of mine. I am very much in love with him. He says that he loves me too. We have only been talking for about 5 weeks. He is going through a divorce too. Since he is trying to get custody of his kids, we have to keep it a secret. We see one another almost daily. Usually have sex. We do not go out on dates at this time. He says that he cant wait untill we can be free to be out in public. My question is this: The first night that me and the exboyfriend went out we had sex. First time I talked to him in 17 years and we had sex on his tailgate. We are in love, but since we have been together I have cheated on him. I have had sex three times with my husband. And then tonight I had sex with a ex lover of mine. This ex lover and I agreed no strings attached just sex. and that is what it was. He says he will call back, but I honestly dont care if he does. I know that I am truely in love with my boyfriend!!! If we were to split up I would be very upset. So why am I taking the chance of loosing him over sex? Sex with people that there is no future with at all. I dont want to be with my husband at all. There is too much hurt between us, we can never work it out. Then the ex lover and me. There is no way in hell I want to be with him. I would never settle for him, but, he is sexy as hell and great in bed. The sex was all I thought it would be. why am I doing this??? Am I addicted to sex? Am I trying to make myself feel better about myself?
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (25 October 2008):
 Perhaps you just ain't ready for a comitted relationship? Why are you getting divorced? Odd that you don't mention a reason. Why does your husband not want you anymore? Or is it you that started proceedings and changed your mind?
It is tricky to judge someone from just a short post but I get the feeling that you are a person who never condiders that for every action you take you must deal with the consequences.
You really love your boyfriend. True love. Right. So true, you feel it MOMENTS after still wanting your husband back and the feeling is so strong you sleep with other guys the next day.
Either those feelings are not as strong as you claim OR you just don't consider that the consequence of loving someone is NOT sleeping with someone else. What goes through your mind when you are thinking "Oh wow I slept with my true love last night it was magical!" while you are dancing on your back with the next guy?
Can you understand what that tells people reading your post? Either you are not actually thinking about your own actions or you just don't care or... well you should know the answer to this.
What are you thinking when you behave like this? Or do you simply not think and life by the moment?
I got three options for you.
A: You got no attention span, you life by the moment and do whatever seems best at the moment with no regard for the future.
B: You aren't really in love, just love the idea of it but really just want sex or to not be alone.
C: You never grew up, you just don't think that you should be hold accountable for your actions. You basically want your cake and eat it to and nobody has the right to tell you this can't be so.
Don't ask others why you are doing what you are doing. Ask yourself, preferably before you do it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): You've just spread your wings again and discovered you can still fly after being cooped up in an unhappy marriage. You're proving to yourself that men find you attractive enough to have sex with you and you're loving the attention and the freedom of being 'single' again. I'm guessing there will be a few more yet before you get it out of your system and to settle down now would be a silly mistake that you'd come to regret later on.
You're behaving like a teenager again and there's nothing wrong with that as long as you stay safe. Enjoy your new-found freedom and make the most of it - the male population will be all the happier for it!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): Sorry, in closing, I don't think you should rush into any relationship at this stage. Give yourself some time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): Yes!! you are addicted to sex.Your sex drive is way too high, like you have just recently got out of a jail or something.I don't understand why you are sleeping with your husband when your divorce is just about finalised.And trust me honey, you are not in love with any of these men.After the divorce, you should take a break from all realtionships for a month or two, think clearly and then move forward.Looks like you live in tha past somehow.Your ex bf,ex lover,would be ex husband, all seem to keep coming back in your life.Its very complicated...try meditation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2008): Why are you getting divorced? Could you and your husband not resolve your problems with counseling? It seems as if there is still strong chemistry between you.
As for having casual sex with all the other guys, you should be very careful. Hopefully you are wise and it is safe and protected sex. Venereal diseases and Aids are always a risk.
I do not believe you are truly in love with this ex boyfriend after 5 weeks and you are already cheating on him. No, I doubt the love. Maybe you like him. Might even be infatuated but not love.
You seem very confused at this stage and I think you should get counseling to get yourself on track.
There is some deeprooted issues causing you to react the way you are.Maybe some hurt in your past?Have you been cheated on before? It coud be a subconcious type of revenge towards men.
I do believe counseling will be to your advantage and will be able to help you to find yourself and to maintain your
self respect.
Do it soon, maybe you are doing this to "hurt' your husband. Maybe you can still save your marriage.
I don't
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