A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 years now. I am happy and complete and we are planning a life of marriage and kids. Things are perfect between us. He still gives me butterflies everytime I see him. We have an incredible relationship.A couple weeks ago I met a guy and we started chatting. We became friends, hang out and talk a lot. I feel like I'm falling for him. The connection I feel with him is the same connection I feel with my boyfriend. He has told me he likes me but will never interfere so long as I am happy. He is a great guy and a real gentleman.So what do I do? I am in a serious relationship with a man I love and can't get enough of, and I am starting to fall for my friend. I am feeling so conflicted right now. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LovelessAct1  +, writes (17 January 2012):
"He has told me he likes me but will never interfere so long as I am happy. He is a great guy and a real gentleman."I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but this guy has already interfered by admitting his feelings for you. He may not be as much of a gentleman as you'd like to think. I only say this because I know dozens of guys like this; they're kind and smooth talking on the surface, but manipulative in the end. The charismatic type can pull off any character trait they want, and do it well. They are confident in their ability to woo others with subtlety.A real gentlman would not have told you he had feelings for you when you're in a long-lasting, committed relationship with someone you love. He would have kept that shit to himself and let you be happy.How well do you really know this guy? I'm not trying to play the conspiracy theorist, but I'm just pointing out that you've been with your BF for 4 years; you know him in and out and you STILL get butterflies around him. That's seriously something special. This other guy could literally be anyone; he just chooses to play the good guy in plain sight.I suppose all I'm trying to say is two things:1. You are INCREDIBLY lucky to be with someone you're still radically in love with after 4 years. That's seriously fantastic.2. People are manipulative.Please think about what you already have. Trust me when I say that the grass is NOT greener on the other side.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 January 2012):
 I honestly think the safest thing for you to do is to stay away from this other guy, before this turns in to a real mess. You have only knowing him a few weeks yet you are really happy with your boyfriend. So I think for your own benefit you should remove this other guy from your life if you are starting to get feelings for him, because it will only end in tears.
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