A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi. so I am in a relationship with a lovely guy who is perfect in every way apart from one: he doesn't like to go down on me! He doesn't like the smell or the texture of women's bits!and this hurts me, as i feel unattractive and unloved when he is so apprehensive about going down on me seeing as he apparently loves me!I feel as if he should actually WANT to, not think of excuses not to. I am always giving him blowjobs and occasionally it seems to me that he prefers blowjobs to sex. He does not even touch me with his fingers or even touches my breasts anymore. And he is only 21!!I am 18.However, for the past few months he has been suffering from eczema and all over dryness on his body, even his penis being dry and apparently painful when attempting sex.and he says that this is the reason why "sex is the last thing on his mind" !!! We are both at uni and he went home last week, and a couple of his friends came over. He didn't touch me once and refused to have sex t night because he didn't want his friends to hear!!!!All the time he reassures me that he loves me but that there are other ways to be close apart from sex.What do I do? Sex is of great importance to me and it is common knowledge that sex is part of a healthy relationship.
View related questions:
blow-job, breasts, text, unloved Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question
Thanks for all answers guys, its very helpful. I do realise that there are other ways to be affectionate than just sex but I genuinely feel like he has gone off sex. Does he not fancy me anymore
A
female
reader, Straight Up  +, writes (15 June 2007):
 well he has got a point you can show each other affection without having full on sex.
now with him not wanting to go down on you shouldn't be a problem you shouldn't pressure him.
now i beilieve in being fair so if he won't give you oral sex then you shouldn't give him oral sex simple as.
also tell him that by him refusing you it makes you feel unattractive and unloved.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2007): He has a lot of hang-ups and is also not very well so it is going to take some time to get past this. It is concerning that he won't touch you but perhaps he thinks it will make expectations of following through. Perhaps he once had a rather stinky girlfriend and has been put off - it is hard to know without him coming clean.
Tell him that when his skin is better you would like to find out how to make things better between you in the bedroom. Discuss it in a non-controntational way and don't take it personally. You can take it step by step etc.
You would definately benefit from seeing a sex therapist ( they are counsellors) together. It may be that you are quite young but I think you lack real understanding of each other's feelings and this would help you very much.
...............................
|
