A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi all ..... Im having a huge problem.. a relationship "black hole ". since i split up with my ex fiance (3 years ago ) i have been going up and down with relationships, and i just dont know if im being to picky or ifs its me that the relationships are not working out. I dont find ( not to sound big headed ) that its my looks, but maybe my personality... but i do so many activity's and like vertually everything, wich maybe thats the problem guys find it hard to be around me, i just dont know.... im 20 now and so desprate to settle down and to have a bf and think about the future... ive tried to not even think about, ( if i like a guy) pushing the relationship... but it just dosnt happen anymore.What am i doing wrong ?????
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male
reader, drhit1007  +, writes (29 March 2010):
You may be in a black hole of relationships because of how hard you are trying to make it happen. A lot of times, relationships just happen. Don't worry about finding "Mr. Right" tomorrow evening just because you want to settle down now. You and I are the same age and I met my ex last year by walking into my friend's dorm room and he had some friends studying with him. She and I started talking and flirting and two weeks later we were going out.
It was my first two months at school and I was just having a good time. Meeting new people and new girls particularly. I went to parties to meet girls.. but they just didn't do it for me. I go over to ask my buddy a question and I met her. We enjoyed a great year together.
Like unwind said.. you're only 20. You have other priorities. If your in school, focus on your studies. If have a job or want to improve your job and make more money, focus on that. Who knows.. maybe you'll find "Mr. Right" tomorrow while shopping, or maybe you won't find him for another 5 or 10 years. Yeah it's a long time and you may be ready to settle down now.. but, when it comes to love, you can't settle for anything less than what YOU want. With money there are limitations, with love there are none.
A
male
reader, unwind +, writes (26 March 2010):
Trust me when I say you are not the only one that gets into a relationship funk. Naturally, your ego has a field day on your ability to attract and meet potential mates of long term relationships. I think you need to change you mindset, and think about enjoying life and focus in improving you and you alone. It's great that you are keeping yourself busy. Not implying that you should not meet people, but remove the stress and stop analyzing every meeting and interaction and rate men as potential long term partners. You are only 20.
Stop stressing :)
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