I am hurting so much right now...

A female age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have been with my boyfriend on and off for almost two years. In that time he has finished with me two times and cheated once. He got back in touch with me the last time swearing that he would never hurt me again, so i gave it another go as my feelings for him had not changed and i wanted to believe that he meant what he said. we see each other two, occasionally three times a week, and when we are together, he comes to my home and finishes work on his pc, then watches tv before we go to bed. Sometimes we go out during the day and we do have a good time. Nights out? he has took me out in all three times this year, usually he is too tired or needs to be up early the next day. two weeks ago i had mentioned that it was my birthday soon and he asked when it was, i told him and thought that maybe we would go out or spend the whole day together. He came the evening before, and stayed the night, when we got up he did not mention my birthday, I had birthday cards waiting to be opened, and opened them two feet away from him, my mother called by and said happy birthday to me in the same room as him. I was hurt that he had not said happy birthday. I just got on with the day, we went to a market and bought odds and ends then came back to my house. He said that he had to leave because he had work he needed to do at home. I still did not mention my birthday until we spoke later that evening, he said that he did not know it ws my birthday, and that it was my fault because i should have told him. and had he known he would have made sure i had a great day, and he thinks i kept it secret so that i could have a go at him. I was upset with him and he said that he cannot show his feelings, never has and that if I wanted that I should find someone who can give me what I need, and then said he loves me but just about. I am hurting so much right now, should I have reminded him it was my birthday? Should he have remembered?

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A female reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (27 October 2008):

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