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female
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anonymous
writes: How do I get over my ex who is getting messages from new girls on myspace saying things like how they hope he made it home alright? He was such an emotionally abusive jerk to me, and no one knows this! It is driving me crazy! We just broke up a month ago, and he already is talking and hanging out with all these new girls. It doesn't make sense because up until a week ago he kept calling me saying how much he loved and missed me. I told him to forget me and not contact me so I can forgive him. Now, I'm just hurt all over again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2007): Hi...well I happen to come on here looking for some positive outlooks on what I'm going through, and I am on the same train...so I had to reply...Alot of the answers that were given, helped me out immensely, but I totally understand your feelings. I have done the same thing as you...looking on the space of wonder. I try and think of it as, he is so desperate for female attention that he is willing to do whatever to have a warm body or someone talk to him that he jumps in immediately, which in the long run, will put him right back into the same ole same ole with his ways of life. I am doing things right fromt his day forward...im not looking at his space..im going to the gym...and im smiling to everyone....enough is enough...Trust me...they dont change...you have rose colored glasses on like me. We think of all the things he LOOKS like he is doing for someone else and didn't for us...He is just getting better at his mind games which you dont need in your life anyways...screw him. Let him do the cyber thing...lets work on ourselves and get the real thing that we deserve.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): I think you need to realise
1: U aren't over him
2: U need to get over him
and
3: Why if this guy made you feel so bad are you still thinking about him, U need to pick up your chin move on and start to take advantage of all those lovely guys out there waiting to make a lady such as yourself happy.
Start taking risks again and enjoying dating it'll make you feel tons better. Wouldn't u rather that exciting feeling again of something(relationship) new take the chance.
Good Luck
Lynne
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't know if he will change because the last time I talked to him about 2 weeks ago he said he was seeing a pyschologist. Funny, because throughout our unhealthy relationship I mentioned that we do counseling many times and he didn't want anything to do with it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2007): The best thing to do is not to take a look at the myspace stuff where you know he is. Blot him out of your life 100% that is the only way you can ever get over him. Forget about him and move on. Stop whittling about what he is doing, he is your ex. You say he was a jerk, so dance around that be pleased that you got away from him, and you are still intact.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2007): Ineteresting how I posted a same question here like twice a few months ago and almost nobody replied to me. That's why I have to tell you that I understand you. It feels so bad, I know. You feel like raped. Like he never cared about He was on Myspace even when we were engaged and had all these bitches for friends. Women who looked like whores. Thank God he was 'a christian'. I couldn't believe how he was like so happy for having all these strangers in his personal web page. Anyway, I opened an account too since he was so addicted to it and he never ever placed me as his #1. I once told him he should and he said since we had just got back together he needed like time to trust me again. When I dumped him again and rejected him he placed and ugly mexican female as his number one and added her pictures to his myspace pic display (like an album) where he had mine (i had told him to remove it earlier) as if she was his special someone when I'm completely certain without a doubt they have not met in person. That's pathetic. Later I checkd her profile and he had sent her 3 romantic messages she had displayed. A man that in two and a half yrs. of relationship and an engagement sent me only 3 txt messages to my cell. I just cancelled my myspace profile and never looked to his anymore. That's what he wants you to do. Now the most important part of the situation is that you have to learn that this man has a emotional problem and he will always act the same with every woman. So it doesn't matter how happy he acts. He will never be happy with anyone unless he seeks for help. These people don't love nobody. They only care about what's best for them at the moment, Period! I had studied pychology and since I'm unemployed I've had the time to read a lot about this type of man. I was so hurt and confused I didn't had peace until I understood why he acted like this. Demonstrating love and interest but hurting me at the same time. Leaving me alone (not necessarily pshysically) even when we were together at some place, because everything else and everybody was more important than me. At least that's what I felt with his actions. Being controlling, abusive, yelling, wanting all his way or no way, pressure, stubborness.... well I know you can relate to me . And there I was all smiley in front of people like we were the happiest couple alive. And I really wanted to believe it but I knew something was missing. Oh and of course he always tried to make me feel as if I was the one with the problems and... I believed him. Until I got fed up. This kind of man will drain your self esteem. They are toxic and see in your relationship their failed relationship with their parents and will try to make you pay for what their parents make him suffer. Parents are the most important source of love and support system a person has. With time their partner becomes their most important source of love and support system they have and they will try to compensate what they lost in their parents relationship with their partners relationship. That means for ex. trying to recuperate the control they felt they lost to his parents trying to control your life. They become like copies of their parents with their partners. I should just let you to read and read so you will get to your own conclusions and see what I'm talking about and what other women in our shoes are also talking about. I'm sure you'll start to see things differently when you see how emotionally ill is that ex of yours. Don't worry he is never going to make any woman happy because he will try to avoid emotional intimacy and commitment to death. And if he gets married it will be on his terms only and that woman is going to suffer hell. Bend your knees and thank God for giving you the strength and intelligence to leave him.Recommended Book: "Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing" by Patti Henry.Recommended URL: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/does-emotionally-unavailable-equal-hes-just-not-that-into-you/Recommended URL: http://naughtygirl.typepad.com/mrunavailable/2006/09/why_be_emotiona.htmlRecommended URL: http://naughtygirl.typepad.com/mrunavailable/2006/04/how_to_spot_emo.htmlhttp://samvak.tripod.com/abuse9.html
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A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (14 November 2007):
 Hi
Why are you hurt? You left him for a very good reason and i donthink you should wanna have anything to do with him.You shouldnt be hurt by him chatting to other girls b/c you broke up and good riddans. I think you should just continue being strong and you should not orry about him and those other girls. He wasnt worthy of you. When those girls realize what a jerk he is then they would leave his sorry ass like you have!
Regards,mail me if you wanna talk
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (14 November 2007):
 Everytime you see his face thank your lucky stars that you don't have to put up with his shit anymore and feel pity for all the other girls who are following in your footsteps.
Just give it time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is not one of my "friends" on myspace anymore because I deleted him a long time ago, I just still have mutual friends with him, so it's easy to take a look when I am feeling weak.
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