A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am 18 and in a happy, sexually active relationship with my boyfriend who's 19. my b/f has been in two previous sexually active relationships (the most recent with a girl nearly 3 years his junior). it occured to me that during his last relationship his ex was 15 for the majority of the time they were seeing each other. i asked him if they waited till she was 16 until they had sex to which he said they did (although hesitating slightly i believed him). my b/f has told me on various occasions that his last relationship wasnt as sexually active as ours is currently due to his ex as she wasnt as keen and 'hurt a lot'. i recently found out that they didnt wait and were having sex when she was 15 and therefore he lied to me. when i confronted him with this he acted like he thought she was 16 but couldnt remember. he then however apologised for lying therefore confirming she was underage. he doesnt seem to understand why its a big deal but it is for me. it makes me feel sick to think he slept with a 15 year old girl, especially as it sounds like she wasnt even that keen. i know it counts as statutory rape. however, when we first started sleeping together he was lovely and kept asking if i was ready. i cant imagine him pressursing her but the thought of it still makes me feel horrible. how do i stop this from bothering me??
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female
reader, love-him +, writes (3 July 2007):
 My boyfriend and i met when he was 19, and i was 15. he soon turned 20, a few months into our relationship. He was a virgin. I wasnt. We had sex 3 months into the relationship. he was 20 and i was 15. We are still together after a year. What he has done in the past, is the past. You or anyone else, cannot change that. You need to try and forget about it. That was my boyfriends problem at first, he could let go to my past, but then we sort of faded it out of our relationship. Good luck x x x x
A
female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help +, writes (3 July 2007):
 well u can't stop something like that from bothering you. it was in his past and as long as he is treating you right than don't worry, yes what he did was wrong but u don't know for sure if he made the 15yr old sleep with him. just be careful if u r still worried its his past so keep it in the past. be safe
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A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (3 July 2007):
 Hi, dwelling in the past isn't going to help you. If you really love this guy and he really loves you, you are going to ruin your good relationship by inquirng.I'm not saying you should ask him but if he is not ready to give you answers he would uo & leave. Drop the topivc for a while until you are sure you would get somwhere with questioning him. Also, im sure if he knew that he was going to hook up with you he wouldn't have done that. Remember, everyone has something about there past they are not proud of and no one can change their past, if you love him enough you would just except him with his past. Nowadays we are never going to find someone with a clean past.
Good Luck, Let me know what you decided to do.
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