A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I had an affair and now im lost. I am married n he wasnt, he was engaged but never told me when he was getting married. He even called me the morning of his weddin to tell me he loved me. He is a newlywed cheating on his wife and I dont know about me. I love my husband and dont wanna do this anymore. N yes, if u think im crazy cuz i think i love 2 men, maybe, cuz i do love them both, but my hsband is my whole life. I have finished my affair many times but always go back to him. Its not about sex cuz since he got married we havent been together but once, I just cant b without him. How can i end this and just forget he exists.Please help.
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affair, engaged Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, kahuna +, writes (16 December 2009):
OK Here's a guy's answer. Fairy Tale endings actually don't often happen, we are way more complex than that! Heed the advice to try harder with your husband, I hope it works out but I suspect you're the 'never satisfied' type with an itch and curiosity for more. If you choose to be a mistress to some man be sure you understand his needs and that you really want this too. Don't allow a married man to tell you he loves you, indeed, be careful of any man who claims he loves you. For a woman, love is unconditional and uncompromising, for most men, maybe all men? love is a guarantee of companionship, sex and mothering which - most men? - badly need. It's taken me a lifetime to fathom out that what I 'really' wanted was a mistress and I hurt a lot of nice girls and women in learning that lesson. Don't allow yourself to be a victim of guys still learning this. Be practical and it can be a really nice arrangement. Good Luck.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (16 December 2009):
Every time you get the urge to go back to your married lover, do something nice for your husband instead. Not only will this refocus your attention on where it's supposed to be, it will make your marriage stronger. (hopefully)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 December 2009):
Obviously your husband IS NOT YOUR WHOLE LIFE, but you can try your damnest to make that happen. Stop the nonsense with this other guy and focus on the guy you have or you may wake up one morning and you won't have him anymore.
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