A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am having trouble being physical with my fiancee. There are several areas that I have hit road blocks.1. She does not liked being touched. She is very ticklish. In fact, the only way to touch her is through back rubs, and holding hands.2. She does not like kissing at all. She has told me fairly often that she finds the thought of kissing disgusting. She particularly hates french kissing. 3. She hates the idea of having oral sex. What can I do to help her have pleasure? I am at a loss, because I would enjoy all of these things. In fact, I get turned on thinking of doing things she hates to do. Any advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2009): I do not believe she is doing it to spite him, and I never said so. But nevertheless, it's really sad for the person who do not get kisses, no matter the reason why. If she feel uncomfortable showing affection, she should find someone who is just as uncomfortable with giving and receiving it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): Relationships aren't all about sex, but sex is about a lot more than just getting it out. It's about intimacy, comfort, attention, affection, be close. Without sex you are just good friends. A marriage needs friendship, but without sex there's not much of a marriage if you ask me, it's more friendship.
Some of us get by with little, like this girl, but some of us need more (like most of us in fact). Then some again need extreme amounts. We all need to find the ones we are compatible with, that will give us what we need to be happy. Sure relationship isn't all about sex, but this relationship is platonic if she doesnt even enjoy kissing, and as far he gets is to hold her hand and give her back rubs. Does that sound like a mature relationship, or does it sound like kids in kindergarden being sweethearts?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): i thought relationships werent all about sex and kissing but people leave because they dont get anything so it seems like it is!! but if ya cant live without that then i suppose yeah you mightaswel leave and find some girl whos like that
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): unless your willing to go through the rest of your life in a sexless frustrating "relationship", you need to move on. She's not going to change for the better, and age is likely to make it worse. My recommendation is to tell her you're not compatible, and that you want more and you KNOW that she's not capable of providing it, so you're moving on.
If you continue this relationship it will end badly, and likely quite expensively- and there will be ten times more pain, anger and hurt.
GO find someone who will fulfill your needs- this one is NOT it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): Leave. That is my advice. Do you want to marry this woman, she'll not make you happy, she is already causing you to want to come online with your problems and you're not even married yet. She'll not start to like kissing or sexual activities once you get married either. Im afraid she'll stop doing anything at one point in not too long. Do you want to be married to a woman who doesnt want to kiss you, doesnt want to show affection and love in a physical way? You want all of these things. They will drive you mad, depressed, and lonely with the years.
Why did you ever get engaged to her? Clearly she's not for you. Very ticklish? She's using ticklishness to get our hands off her. Her body doesnt like it, but you know what? It's all up in her head. I was ticklish too, but once I met the right man, I wasn't ticklish anymore. I used to hate holding hands even, because it felt weird and I was ticklish, but with my boyfriend now I dont feel that way at all.
When you find the right person, it'll be right for the both of you, and not like this. End it before you get married, it'll only be more and more difficult.
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