A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:3 years ago my father died. Ever since then, every so often i have horrific dreams about him.They started about a year after he died. In these dreams, he's always trying to hurt me. In one he chased after me and beat me up until i could barely move. The next, he tied me to a lampost and hacked all my hair off because he said he didnt like it. In another he chased after me and stabbed me several times. This morning i woke up and remembered id had another dream about him - he was trying to rape me.My dad never hurt me in anway. I dont understand why im having these dreams, and why he wants to hurt me. My memories of him are tainted by these dreams. I just want them to stop.I dont know what to do. My boyfriend suggested going to see some sort of counsellor but i can't afford it.Please help me. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (18 May 2008):
 If you want to see a counsellor you can see one on the NHS. You will have to ask your GP to refer you but it will be free of charge. I definitely think its worth trying because its obviously really distressing and upsetting to have dreams like this about him. The important thing to remember though is that dreams are not literal. Your father is not trying to hurt you. They are symbolic messages from your subconscious, if you have a bad day or are going through a difficult period in your life, your dreams will reflect that. Its nothing to do with the person who is in the dream so please dont feel that your father is trying to hurt or upset you.
I looked up your dream on a few dream interpretation sites and every one of them said that to dream of your dead father is a warning and usually represents business deals or important decisions in which you would need strong guidance and that you should be careful with career and business decisions.
But thats just a generalisation and I couldnt find anything on the violent side of your dreams. I think you would benefit from seeing a counsellor because of the nature of your dreams and what you dream your father is doing. You deserve better than that and you dont want to feel badly about him because of dreams so please see your doctor soon and tell them how much these dreams are confusing and upsetting you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): There are many theories as to what dreams mean, but the only important point here is that they are upsetting you and you want to get rid of them.
A good thing to try would be to get out some photos of your Dad before you go to bed, or something that reminds you of him. Focus on a good time you had together or one of his great traits. Spend some time thinking about the relationship you had together until you fall asleep (best to do this while sleeping alone.) This might help to influence your dreams towards a more positive view of your Dad. Have a hot drink and relax for a bit; don't get anxious about going to bed.
Also look at other aspects of your life - have you had any major changes lately to diet, work, relationships, maybe you have exams - more stress? It could be that you're adjusting to a new routine and it's disrupting your sleep. Do the best for yourself by keeping on a healthy diet and getting some exercise; it will help you sleep more soundly.
If this doesn't work, maybe your boyfriend is right and you do need to talk to someone. There should be a counsellor attached to your local NHS GP clinic (therefore available free.) Not everyone benefits from this, however, and you might have to seek help from another source - anything from hypnotherapy to acupuncture, it depends what you find to work for you.
As another resort there are many sleeping aids on the market which could help you sleep deeply and uninterrupted. Be careful when using any kind of drugs though - herbal remedies might be a better route to go down.
I wish you the best of luck with this because I know how terrible this must be for you. I hope your sleeping gets back on track and you can remember your Dad for the man he really was. x x x
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