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male
,
*occer Referee
writes: Hi everyone: I (age 28) have been married for 3 years and never cheated on my wife before. 2 months ago, I kissed one of my co-workers who is 21 years old. AN unbelievable romance started with that kiss. I first started liking her and now we are madly in love with each other. She keeps telling me that She loves me so much because I am a wonderful person. It is not just sex, we talk for hours, try to help each other out. I am constantly thinking about her; when I see her, my heart starts pounding so fast. On the other hand,I am having problems with my wife. There is no respect between us anymore, we constantly argue. I have been sleeping on the couch for a week now. The only thing that puts a smile on my face is my lover. Can you please give me some advice? This is not something that I am familiar with.
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female
reader, Ne'cee +, writes (19 October 2006):
 My first instict was to tell you, you shld be ashamed of yourself. But sometimes a person cant help who they love. Dont lead your wife on. Dont let her believe that the relationship is fine. Let her know what is going on and let he make the decision on how she wants things to turn out, just dont leave her in the dark. I hope everythings works out for the best. Good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2006): Yes. For a brief period in your adulthood, try being a man. First, admit to yourself that you have no character. Second, apologize to your wife. Third, apologize your 21 year old lover (you'll soon disappoint her too, so you might as well say you're sorry now). Finally, accept yourself for what you are: an opportunistic twit. From that point forward, feel free to play the fool (you're straight out of central casting).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006): First off be a man and leave your lover, and work out the problems in your marriage, that's what marriage is about committment....your lover puts a smile on your face because the only parts to your relationship are fantasy based, not real life issues that you and your wife have to face together...be a partner to your wife, and step up to the plate, stop arguing, see her side of things for a change and resolve to be the man she needs, not some boy who needs sex from a co-worker and isn't able or willing to create romance and intimacy with his spouse...that must be there with your wife as well or you would not have married her. You have just gotten lazy and don't want to have to work at love...If you just prefer the other woman, then be a man and leave your wife so she can be free of you....if you are going to stay, do not tell her about the affair to alleviate your own guilt and dump it on her, just end things and promise you will never do that again..Perhaps you need some counseling to find out why you are running to another woman and cannot stay faithful to your wife, there may be underlying depression, deep seated issues that you have never come to terms wtih, work on yourself and stop trying to change your wife or look outside of your marriage for gratification, the problem is with you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006): i was a wife and i was also the other woman . and if you were my husband cheating and not happy with me i would brutally say to please let me know...for pete sake let your wife know the problem. be honest and upfront to her. you need to communicate and try to work out your marriage. stop cheating and seeing (the other woman)other women. you have to decide what you want in life. if you want to stay with your wife or if you two want to end your marriage you need to come clean. respect and appreciate others. don't take everyone (your wife and the other woman) for granted.
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