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female
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anonymous
writes: i am 42 years old with two children. first child from my previous marriage. 8 years ago ( i was 34 ) i met a 24 year old guy. we have a child and is now 7 years old. we've lived together until last year when he started cheating and finally he moved out and lives with another woman who is 45. in short she is old and rich. she knows that he has me and his child. he says he works for her and pays him. he gets free rent and food. on weekdays he's with her and on weekend he comes over to see me and our child. the other woman is aware of this. i love him very much that he promised as soon as he's saved up money and done working with her he'll leave and come back to us. it's been a year now and he's still living with her and working for her. he seemed to distant himself often. he hardly calls us and when he comes to visit on weekends he's always rushing to leave. i can't get over him hoping that he will someday come back to us. because i know that the other woman will just leave him or let him go once they're done with each other. but how long can i wait or should i just let go of him ?
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female
reader, nana24 +, writes (12 November 2006):
 i've been dating this guy for 2 1/2 years. we work together for 6 years and that how i meet him, he been was this woman for over 10 years he is 52 years old. for the past 2 years he has change.i am 35 years old with one chid
i put my self in this relationship knowing that he live with someone. we fell in love with each other we go trips spend times with each other.he told his partern that he is dating me, he told her that i will respest our home until he moved out. but as time move on i get lonely and i need him to be next to me and hold me every night. we argue everytime she call when he with me.he tell me that i live with her so i have to anwser her call but i don't live with you so i have to turn my phone off at some time but i don't want disrespet my home. i need help should i live this relasionship
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006): dont waste your time waiting for him my dear, if he still do care he will respect your feelings and will not hurt you. she is paying him' nah' he is just using this line to you to make an excuse,dont believe that' he is a man' if he really love you he should prove it to you. take care of your heart my dear' your child need you more... good luck XXX.. gladyz
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006): Dear, I have to be blunt. If he truely loved you, he'd be by your side right now, wouldn't he. You have a man of low character who has cheated on you and has found himself a woman 'to look after him'. He's a player and it's so sad that you love him. So what is it about you that you seem so stuck on wasting your life on a man who is making empty promises and giving you so much false hope?
You are losing yourself over this man...all his actions tell you he is not loving you back ...so please stop making him the center of your universe. When a man loves a woman, wild horses couldn't keep him away from her. He spends his time focused on loving just her. He's asking you to wait but he's making no move to come and be with you. If a man loves a woman, he'll do anything to be with her because he would fear losing her. The ultimate quality of your life will depend upon you...using all your rationale, strength, pride and courage in making the painful, honest decision that this guy is where he wants to be.
What you have to do is disconnect and begin the process of grieving. I know you have a son together and unfortunately, he'll be in the shadows of your life as a result. Your son needs his father. But you can still become a woman of integrity and get your self-respect back, by keeping him away from you. But you have to get off your tush and get the courage to create a new, wonderful, independent existence for yourself and your son. Something that gives you your pride and strength back. And please, give yourself time to heal and get motivated. The only way out of this situation is to think rationally. And the rational thinking you need to think about is "If you don't learn to move on..then you will always be stuck and you will always feel this pain". Be strong for you and remember, you are worthy and deserve so much better that this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006): First I am a little unclear on the age of this guy now, is he 31 and you are 42 and the other woman is 45, just 3 years older than you and she is old? I think this sounds like a very unsatisfactory situation for both you and your children, it must be confusing to them to have him in and out of your lives like that and your not knowing if you are in a relationship with him or not...if it were me, I would tell him to get lost, he is cheatig on you, and you are just welcoming him back all of the time, where is the respect? You don't seem to have any respect for yourself either, stand up for what you want, money is the least of your worries, and a poor excuse, he can find other work that is honest and doesn't come with sexual ties to another woman! Sounds like a loser to me, but you decide.
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